User:Hrodulf/Rikkmeister
Rikkmeister[edit | edit source]
The Man! The Legend! The Pizza Topping That Will Drive you Mad![edit | edit source]
Rikkmeister was born at a very young age. Please do not shine bright lights at him, as it makes him very unhappy. He went to a summer camp where the activities involved going to amusement parks and getting lost. He excelled at this. Then one magical day, puberty hit and a miracle occurred:
Rikkmeister comes of age[edit | edit source]
When puberty hit, unlike most children, who become sweatier, hairier, etc, Rikkmeister began instead to grow extra limbs and privates. And every now and then one of them would drop off. Best of all . . . .
THEY WERE DELICIOUS[edit | edit source]
The media was alerted. Oprah got involved. Everyone wanted a taste of human flesh . . . . without having to kill or go to jail! Soon Rikkmeister had a deal with Tyson foods for gourmet meat from, yes, his private stash
Controversy[edit | edit source]
But not all was going well for Rikkmeister. Soon he found he was being followed by the government. They were shadowing his every move, because they thought if they could get their hands on his magical DNA they could create a race of super self-constructing soldiers and also be able to eat them when they got hungry. They tried very hard to get Rikkmeister's DNA but havn't succeed yet. So far they've only gotten the D. Will they get the N and the A? Stay tuned for another exciting adventure.
Life of Crime[edit | edit source]
To put pressure on Rikkmeister to cooperate, the government fabricated horrible stories about him, such as that he had had sex with a grue and enjoyed rhythmic gymnastics. Frustrated at the loss of his corporate sponsorship, and getting weighed down by the buildup of various limbs in various stages of growth and falling off all over his body, Rikkmeister soon turned to a life of crime.
Nemesis of Awesome Man and Laser Lad[edit | edit source]
But masked heros soon arose to fight this new threat: Awesome Man and Laser Lad! Together they will team up to create a delicious taste sensation . . . er, I mean, wonderful part of this balanced breakfast . . . er, never mind. Stay tuned for excitement! Stay tuned for thrills! Stay tuned for . . . . just stay tuned.
Dansken[edit | edit source]
Dansken is a wonder of nature, a man who can remember where he parked his car. . . every time. No "Dude, where's my car" for this guy, he's mister "Dude, Here's my Car."
He often teams up with the suppervillian Rikkmeister, who he assists by reminding him where they were parked. Here are some of their amazing adventures:
- Climbing into a giant woman while she was sleeping and escaping, emerging in Pittsburgh.
- Sneaking into a bank and touching all of the money with their penises (Rikkmeister did this very much because at the time he had over thirty of them (penises, not monies))
- Catching baby albatrosses and making them learn calculus and to recognize the difference between impressionistic and cubist paintings
- Flying the space shuttle to Disneyworld
- Finding where they had parked
Laser Man and Awesome Lad[edit | edit source]
Er, I mean Awesome Man and Laser Lad. They're involved in this breakfast, er I mean exciting caper somehow. You know, sometimes I wish I hadn't quit school in eighth grade to work in my uncle's tile factory . . . where was I . . . oh yes, Remember the Alamo! Remember the Lusitania! Remember to Tip your Waiter! And Remember to Tune In for Exciting Tales of Masterminds and MindMasters for these are the true testiments of glory that will never die! These signal acts will regale you with wonder, awe and pancakes piled higher than you can imagine for this is : Untitled Comedic Superhero Meme!