User:Hrodulf/Disgusting Aspects of Being Human
Some things about being human are nice, but some are just icky. Here's a few of them:
Birth[edit | edit source]
Oh god, getting pooped out of some woman's buh-gina and covered in blood and pregnancy goop . . . that's like, totally the grossest! I'm so glad I don't remember mine . . .
Pissing and Shitting[edit | edit source]
This is the grossest thing most humans have to do on a frequent basis. Pissing isn't really too bad, but for guys, the urinals don't have toilet paper, so that's sort of nasty.
Shitting is about 800 times as bad as pissing and wiping your ass is really difficult and takes a lot of toilet paper to do it right, and then usually you just end up chafing your ass or the paper breaks and you get shit on your hand. Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew.
Burping and Farting[edit | edit source]
Unavoidable, but also nasty.
Dying[edit | edit source]
Nobody has ever reported on what it's like to die, but it's probably gross, since you either get ripped to bits by something or other, or get holes poked in you by something or other, or crushed by something or other, etc, or some disease or the general crappiness of your body after it's rotted on earth for a few dozen decades or so just finally beats you in that chess game we're all playing with the universe. But hey, at least the good side is that it stops all of that pissing, shitting, burping and farting, so it's not all bad. Sure, there's the whole rotting thing, but that can be avoided by cremation, which is a lot less gross, or that freeze dried thing where they vacuum pack you and grind you up, which is better for the environment, like, if you want to go out with a tree and do some heavy petting in the back of your dad's car or something.
(Article started on 4-29-06, finished on ________)
(this is on my user page, so please leave it alone, unless you want to add something to it. That's ok. But no erasing. Thank you.)