User:Gr33nmag1k/Yavin 4
“What is that? is it some sort of moon?”
“HOLY SHIT! THAT AINT NO MOON”
“OOOOOH, Pretty, lets blow the shit out of it”
“Isn't that where Wookies come from?”
Yavin 4 is a moon orbiting the gas giant Yavin... (this is another example of very imaginative naming) It was used as a base of operations for the Rebellion. it has seen many battles over the years such as The Battle of Yavin IV, The Second Battle of Yavin IV, The Third Battle of Yavin IV and The First Kerfuffle of Yavin IV (The historians of the new republic have very good imaginations).
History[edit | edit source]
The moon was created when a large truckload of Kleenex(TM) tissues were sucked through a wormhole from earth back through time and landed in the middle of the gravity well of the gas giant Yavin.however nothig happened to it. it just hung there like the giant tissue reserve of the galaxy. this all changed when a batch of VNDs were sucked through a similar wormhole and started to multiply and make more and more tissues. Eventually (due to an event known locally as the Big Sneeze) life appeared on Yavin 4
 is hereby granted to: The Inhabitants of Yavin IV for his/her ability to breathe. --Uncyclopedia HowTo  |
It was only simple life. consisting mainly of spotty teenagers and petrol station attendants, but it was life nontheless
History... Shit, already used that one... erm... other stuff[edit | edit source]
Life had flourished on Yavin IV after the dregs of its last attempt at life had been flushed away down a black hole (this was done voluntarily, they all thought there was candy) new life had appeared. mainly trees... alright mostly trees... maybe the odd shrub. pretty much just trees. but with trees come insects and then those things that crawl up your arse when you sleep. then came the first intelligent life. they were about three feet tall, covered in fur and painfully cute. NB: these are NOT Ewoks, alright. Just so you'd get that, NOT Ewoks. however when they discovered that the planet they were on was a shithole they committed mass suicide rather than face the shame.
Events[edit | edit source]
Luke skywalker was based here until he realised that the moon was, in fact, made completely out of kleenex(TM) tissues.
This pissed him right off as he had had a runny nose for many months now and no-one had even bothered to point out the fact that, under the dense foliage there was a near unlimited supply of Kleenex(TM)soft 2-ply tissues
Luke decided to vacate the planet and search for his biological father after being split up with him due to child services due to the fact that his father was "an evil bastard who strangles people with the force when they fail to make a decent cupcake" Luke eventually found his father and asked him to blow the fuck out of the stupid pathetic planet with his giant lazer of death, however due to brave efforts from the rebellion, the giant death laser was shoved right up darth vader's arse, He then got cancer.