User:Gneomi/Laptop

Note: This article is about a nerd subject. For information on President Bill Clinton's lap, see Monica "Laptop" Lewinsky.

“Laptop is good.”

~ Anna Kournikova on Laptop

“Laptop helps me everywhere I go.”

~ Osama Bin Laden on Laptop

A laptop is a three dimensional form of the magic box that can be carry around to satisfy the needs of some world's notable users, such as Osama Bin Laden, Former human Saddam Hussein and Condoleezza Rice. Different with the bigger computers, laptop is portable. Common examples of laptop colours including black, silver, grey, blue and sometimes red, because it actually depends on the user's mood. The size of a laptop is usually around 20 x 20 x 1 centimetres, so people can bring up to 4 to 6 laptops anywhere they go.

Since laptops don't have any access to electricity, common laptops drain energy from the users' body, making the user stressed, so they will smack their laptops and buy new ones. This form of business strategy is known as the BULABANO (pronounced in a bit Spanish). "Bang Your Laptop And Buy A New One".

Categories

In the current decade, laptops are divided into categories based on the sizes, and most people think that the smaller the laptop, the better it is. That is so weak.

The AX-2582P, for footballers and basketballers.

The FG-22X, for Hulk Hogan kind of people.

The TE-FS-LOL-ZOMG, for the average suburban Joe.

The RE-231-TY, for people who like simplicity.

The 67-re-SM, for midgets.

Parts of a laptop

A brief parts of a laptop.

“Keep trying to open the screen until you hear a "crack" sound.”

~ Some engineer on Laptop

In order to make a laptop works, one really needs to have these following things.

A table

Generally referred as the "docking stations", a table is very useful to keep the laptop on it's place, like a study table, T table, cosmetics table and other tables you can think of. The term was invented by some scientists in the University of Sportsmanship while they were watching some Star Trek episodes.

Fancy lights

You will never know that your laptop is on until you see those fancy lights. Most laptops have green lights, which is good because red tells you something goes very wrong, like those lights in a spacecraft. Orange or yellow are good too, they are less serious, but still green is better. These lights are also good in case you bring your laptop to a cave, where there is no light whatsoever.

Stickers

Stickers are good for advertising's sake. Often when you buy a new laptop, the store put many stickers on it, like "Customer Care - 02341245", "Designed for Windows XP", "Wanna chat??", "Vote for Bush", "Nothing Inside", "Click here", "Wanna Chat??" and other sorts of thing.

Manufacturers

• TrAcer
• Red Apple - MacBook and MacBook Pro
• A-Shoosh
• Bank-Q
• Jujitsu Computer - Lifebook, FMV - BiBlo, Amilo
• Jewlett-Packard - HP Pavilion and HP Omnibook
• LinuXXX

• NECK Corporation]] - VERSA, LaVie
• PanaSonic The Hedgehog
• Somesong
• Sharp Edge Corporation - Mebius
• Tony - VAIO, C Series
• Moshingba - Dynabook, Equium, Moshingba Portege, Tecra, Satellite notebook, Qosmio, Libretto

Uses

It is common to throw a laptop to a dark red water.

There are, really, many things one can do with a laptop.

• See porn.
• Change diaper.
• Say hello to people on a train.
• Prevent earthquakes.
• Have breakfast.
• Have an imaginary sex with Angelina Jolie.*

*) terms and conditions apply.

In popular culture

In this new millenium, almost everyone has had at least one laptop. Furthermore, movie directors, producers, writers and actors are incorporating these laptops to their new movies and other arts.

• David Beckham always carry his laptop.
• Mac laptops are popular because of its colour.
• In "Happy Emo", emos are dancing with their laptops.
• Harry Potter stops using blood to write something, instead he uses laptops.

See also

• iPod
• Macintosh
• Windows
• Computer