User:Gnarkill
“I love this place because there are no black people!”
Tijuana, Land of the Future is a utopian society directly below San Diego and part of the Imperial Republic of Mexico. Its inhabitants are a strange alien- like race similar to those in Babylon 5, 'cept these are just futuristic Tijuanese. Tijuana is known for its happy people and futuristic architecture (makes Dubai look like Darfur).
History[edit | edit source]
Some claim Tijuana is the long-lost city once thought to be called Atlantis, but others think it was once a French colony, that France used to be a world power before they learned to surrender in the late 1700s. Whatever the case may be, little is known about the history of Tijuana. The current theory is that the Яussian hunter-gatherers ventured across from the North around 750 BC. There they created a Communist society known as "The Alan Parsons Project" (from which the 70s rock band derives their name). This land lasted under the tyranny of Czar Jorge Bush for some 1300 years until the Tijuanese Revolution in 550 AD.
Sick and tired of having a stupid name and a tyrant ruler, the Tijuanese all signed a petition to overthrow Bush and ventured in a guild of 300 soldiers to the capital city of Narnia. Bush sicked his 10,000 imperial officers on them. However, after 4 days of nonstop fighting, the rebels finally one, with only 47 left. With the whole city in control, they renamed it "The Democratic Republic of Tijuana", which is often referred to as "the oxymoron".
Technological Advances[edit | edit source]
Downtown Tijuana is a city full of wonder, with technology so advanced, China has hereby admitted they are incredibly jealous at a UN meeting last July. It's no wonder, since there's nothing they can do about the existence of Tijuana, due to the high-security force field surrounding it, making it airstrike-proof. This is the main reason Americans from southern California always attempt to sneak across the border. However, none prevail, since border security is top-notch.
The border is a series of walls, moats filled with jumping sharks, deep bamboo-spiked trenches, electric fences, and guards equipped with guns that shoot swords and AIDS grenades (grenades filled with used syringes). No Americans can get in without being eaten, contaminated or electricuted.