User:Fuentfue/Negative Potatoe

Negative Potato

The negative potato, expressed algebraically.

The negative potato (Also called, the nega-tater) is a Solanum tuberosum of the family of the negative Solanum tuberosums. One recognizes a negative potato as a normal, or positive potato, to the fact that when one has a negative potato one has not zero potatoes, one has some less. As of, less of a potato.

Being in possesion of a negative potato can be expressed as not being in possesion of any potatoes, but instead, having less then a potato. If you do gain possesion of a potato, you then have no potatoes. If you were to take a negative potato, and multiply it by a bag of positive potatoes, you lose them all and are left with less potatoes than originally had.

Discovery

The discovery of the negative potato is atributed to the mathematician John Spud In the year 1896. Sometime during his work on dividing a potato by zero, he was asked by his wife to take five potatoes out of a bioling pot of hot water. Without knowing, he took one more. Thus, he took more than nothing less of what wasn't there. The brilliant potatomatician was awe struck by his profound brilliance. For as he stared down into the generic boiling pot of water, he gazed at a negative potato. Mrs Spud, however, was not amused.

To Obtain A Negative Potato

To acquire a negative potato, you will need:

• Soil
• Two cows
• A regular positive potato seed
• Lots of patience
• Gardening for Dummies (recommended)
• Someone to critisize your methods as you go along (recommended)

Alright, take your seed and plant it in your soil, while using your cows for fertilizer. After this, you may discard the cows. A wood-chipper is most effective. Now in order to grow a negative potato, you must not give it any water. In fact, you must suck the moisture out from the soil (and fertilizer). Next, you can not expose the seed to any sun light. Instead, enshroud it in darkness. It is also said you must show love and care while growing a positive potato. For a negative potato, you must hate it. Do not show any amount of affection for the potato. Insulting it may help as well such as, "How many negative potatoes does it take to screw in a light bulb? None! Because they will never see light! Muahahahaha!" Once your negative potato has reached full negative size (around -110 grams) it is ready to be picked.

Nutrition

Eating a negative potato may cause some people to vomit a positive one. The negative potato, with its anorexic style, has no nutrition at all. When consumed, it actually deprives the body of nutrition, and causes the body to lose energy. However, if the body dose not have the amount of energy being deprived of, then energy may be gained, as the nutrition being lost from the negative potato makes the body lose its shortage of energy. A deficit of negative potaotes in ones diet may result in loss of lacked nutrition.