User:Fruitloopeater/UnNews:Al Assad admits he is gay in atypical Syrian press conference

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10 February 2012

Al-Assad and his lover never fit in with the conservative crowd

Appearing at a rare press conference, President Bashar Al-Assad made a surprise announcement to a room of state sponsored television reporters. Aired late at night on Syrian television, the President appears to say in Muslim gobbledygook that he is gay. Reportedly this has sent all of Syria into an gigantic uproar, with the conservative city of Homs refusing to serve under a "fag president".

China and Russia both made it clear through their respective spokespersons that they will support Syria even if Al-Assad is gay. The Russian statement in particular was extremely supportive, saying that they will erect a gay pride statue of a Al-Assad with a huge dick slapping a Syrian shaped country in metal stone at their naval base in Syria.

Obama and the White House have yet to comment.