User:Flyingbird/Banana-sucking

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Banana-sucking in action

Banana-sucking is the act of sucking on bananas, deriving much pleasure from doing so. The typical banana-sucker will experience stress relief when she takes very much time to consume a banana, esp. when she realizes bananas are very wholesome and there is nothing wrong about eating them not too fast.

According to an ancient Inca saying, "A banana each day keeps worries away". Sucking on a banana is more relaxing than smoking 20 or more cigarettes, if the latter are free of nicotine or if they are found during archaeological excavations in areas where Incas used to live in the past.

Since not so many cigarettes have been discovered during archaeological excavations where Incas used to live in the past, in general this is not taken as a point of reference for banana-sucking, but for academic discussions it is often used just for the sake of argument, for lack of anything better.

Note that banana-sucking is often confused with banana-licking. The main difference between the two is the fact, that banana-sucking creates some sort of vacuum in the mouth, whereas banana-licking does not, and with banana-licking the tongue plays a more important role than with banana-sucking.

One other thing that banana-sucking is often confused with, is vacuum cleaning. Finding arguments why this confusion is absurd is left as an exercise to the reader.

The typical banana-sucker will love to eat bananas in public. If no bananas are available, alternatives like ice creams or sausages can be considered, but in general only a genuine banana will give the full satisfaction that only a banana can give her. An ice cream may be cold and cool but is not nearly as good as a banana. A sausage may be hot and have some resemblence, there is nothing as good as the real thing.

The Nutricious Value of Bananas[edit]

To most people, bananas are very wholesome and nutricious. Only very few people are allergic to them. Because of their yellow color they contain some vitamin C, just like the yellow vitamin C pills that can be found in your favorite drug store and which you do not need if you eat enough bananas. If one compares the yellow color of bananas with that of vitamin C pills, one will notice the striking resemblence. Besides that they are rich in all sorts of chemicals that sound scary to most people but that are in fact, nutricious. People who are scared by the names of those chemicals are advised to close their eyes while they eat them. The fiber of the bananas is used for the interconnections between neurons. For that various biological protocols for data exchange are used, such as FDNI (Fibre Distributed Neuron Interface). The chance of getting certain types of cancer is reduced by the consumption of bananas. Eating at least one banana each day is therefore advisable. Of course, meals should be complete, eating other fruit as well as other sources of carbohydrates and proteins is also a good idea. Even though the risk of slipping on banana peels can be significant, the nutricious value of the banana outweighs this risk by far. Statisticians have proven that the risk of slipping on a banana peel is a fraction of a percentage of the benefit one can gain by eating the very same banana that someone else has slipped on.

The Advantages of Eating Slowly[edit]

Many people are used to eating their meals very fast. However, there are many reasons why it is better to eat food slowly. Not only will the flavor of food be enjoyed better when it is eaten slowly, the digestion will also benefit from eating not too fast and in most cases eating slowly can help in weight reduction. People who eat their food fast mostly eat more than others.

Eating slowly comes by practice. Many people are used to eating without thinking about it, they watch their favorite show on television while they consume their calories or they eat their pizza while they are bungee jumping or eating spaghetti with chop sticks while they are weightlifting, etc. Actually realizing that one is slowly eating a banana is a very good way to learn to be more attentive to one's food consumption and to force oneself to relax.

Techniques for Eating Slowly[edit]

As many people are used to fast food consumption, various techniques have been developed to help people learn to eat food more slowly. In the case of bananas, pealing the banana very slowly, carefully checking that it is not too green and that it looks yellow and counting to ten before actually starting to suck on it may help one to realize that this is not a quicky. Making sure that the banana is not finished within about 20-30 minutes is also a way of slowing down the pace of eating it. Concentrating on the banana and its shape and flavor and realizing that life does not need to be very much more complicated than the average banana once it is peeled can help in the experience. As the banana does not dissolve very quickly in the mouth, one can enjoy licking and sucking on it for a very long time and practise all sorts of techniques on the banana that can help develop one's creativity. These techniques can be useful for preparing for oral exams as well. If one gets used to it, endorphines will be produced by the brain when one eats bananas very slowly like this and banana sucking could be seen as some form of meditation.