User:ExamBusters/Heathdale Christian College
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“Give us, us rice”
Heathdale Hindu College[edit | edit source]
This page is orginally based on a school and is often read by lazy procrastinating students. Hyperthetoically speaking, if such a school and such students were to exist, which they dont! Then the students' lives would be as the following:
Prep - Grade 5: Endless boring games from strange adults. These years are like watching a pigeon flying into a brick wall. ie:CAPITAL.
Grade 6: Get lost during a extremely tiring bushwalk at BaneBris Ranges Sociable Park. Good waste of times.
Year 7: Your first day of high school! But watch out, they still give you demerits! And they wont take it away if you cry. This is also for some bizarre reason the same year you have your first exam. Watch out! Shakespeare is near. You can apply for the position of Prefect here<<<waste of time. Year 8: The only decent year of the whole Middle school. Want to know why? Because your on top, your year level is number one in Middle school. Shame all the Senior School students hate you for this though. Also this year, you become one of Shakespeare's minions because of Medieval Day at the end of the year. The day where little year 8s have swordfights in the Library.
Year 9: 1st year of Senior School. Everyone still hates you because they remember you are the year 8s from last year. It is in this year the prison school finally releases you for 1 week 3 days and lets you get a life. You play The Real Game!!! And you lose in the end and respawn back at the library on a Monday Morning.
Year 10: Congradulations you have survived another year at Heathdale or they just let you live. You now own the Boardwalk. What is a Board walk you say? Well it is ironically a wooden board that people walk across. If you get to year 10, they let you pretend to have real lives and jobs in Business week! Of course this is all to put your hopes up for something that will never actually happen.
“Enjoy this year, it may be your last.”
Year 11: The so called bludge year. For those of you who do not know the meaning of bludge just think of the word slugde and a word starting with the letter b. Make it yellow, fold it in half twice, shove it through a belender and maximise it's size by 8loge(5x) and your done. Some students do a ECV subject this year or go on to do the easier LACV. backwards
Year 12: Your final year of misery at this waste of a landfil. You've put up with the itchy uniform for years now and simply don't care. Students in this year can become School Captains. Similar to the prefect except you get to wear a Black tie unlike everyone else who prefers not to stand out in a crowd. This year does 2 of 3 things: One, ruins your social and gaming life. Or Two, greatly enhances your social and gaming life causeing others to follow as well. However you can't avoid the 3rd thing which deprives you of sleep taking countless years off your pitiful life. The only good thing about this year is that it is the last. This year is also known as the Kaephionobiarousit. Which means "Oh Thankyou God, I am free."
Uniform[edit | edit source]
Males: Must wear a skirt that goes above the knees. If it is the below, a nearby teacher will smell it like a bloodhound and whip out a Katana and make it much shorter. Please note there have been cases where they have cut too high. They must also wear an annoying red tie and bright blue itchy jumper. Pants and shorts are prohibitated for boys, what ever that big word means.
Females: Must wear Black shirts, grey pants and white socks. Teachers come in for regular checks to make sure that their buttons on the top of their collars and their ties are done up. A sad student once said, "Stop your choking me, please sto--", and that was all they said. Ever since the cane was brought back, students have behaved better for some odd reason. Females are also advised to wear as much make-up as possible before they come to school. Out of fashion hair is not accepted and simply cut off.
All year: Students must wear these items all year round, they include: Sandals, the itchy jumpers, hats, ties and pocket watches for the boys and ear rings for the girls.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- The school saw the need for a 2nd library, after the first was not as hypnotic and capturing as they wanted.
- Since this school is only Hypothetical, we can only assume it is real.
- 95% of what the eagle man says is complete rubbish, while only 5% is worth listening to. This is of course under the assumption that he talks 100% of the time. This is illogical. Everyone knows that the Eagle man talks 5x as much as anyone else so he talks 500% of the time proving once again he likes eagles.
- If the school were real it would make an excellent Paintball Field