User:Eram 19.

The Gozz Finds This Article Mildly Entertaining

The Gozz — The greatest and most important entity in the universe, has personally deigned to look-upon this article, and found it to be vaguely interesting.
The grammar is shit, the formatting of this page is shit, and I could do a million times better. The only purpose this article serves is to prove once again that I am superior to all other life forms.

---

Eram 19.
User:Charl3(s) Shits Upon You All!
Species	<Unknown form of Humanoid>
Classification	Evil Random Albino Migdet
Position	Evil Genius (self-appointed)
Motive	World Domination
Preferred Weapons	Anything with a flame. Also Shotguns, Chainsaws and other sharp, shiny/serrated objects.
Born	Sodom, June 18th, 1993.
Habitat	Various maximum security mental asylums throughout Australia
Affiliations	The Leprechauns, Dr. Smythe, Eugene, Bob, Horace, Mao Zedong
Arch Nemesis	The Charles/Creature/The Antichrist.
Other Enemies	Scientologists, Psychiatrists, and anyone who does not believe in The Leprechauns
Victims	50, 000+ (Excluding unintelligent lifeforms - i.e. Scientologists)
Conservation Status	Currently being hunted down by 54 world governments.

Random Quotations By Eram 19.

“My psychiatrists HAD to die...THEY SAID THAT THE LEPRECHAUNS WEREN'T REAL!!!...”

~ The Eram on the mysterious disappearance of his/its psychiatrists

“I am NOT a pyromaniac...THE VOICES JUST KEEP TELLING ME TO BURN STUFF...”

~ The Eram explaining to his/its psychiatrists that he/it isn't a pyromaniac, despite burning anything flammable within reach

“Oh...my...god...THIS IS ALMOST AS RETARDED AS SCIENTOLOGY!!!”

~ Jesus on the The Eram

“I'm not Insane...heh...in fact...I'M the only SANE one...YOU'RE the insane ones...That's right, YOU!!! YOU'RE INSANE!!! HA!!! THAT'S WHY YOU'RE LOCKING ME UP!!! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS OF MY SANITYYYYYYY!!!!”

~ The Eram's reasoning on why he/it is currently locked in solitary confinement

“Wow...and I though I was weird...”

~ Oscar Wilde on The Eram

“You can see the leprechauns too...RIGHT???”

~ The Eram to an unsuspecting passerby whilst brandishing a blowtorch, having just recently escaped from another maximum security mental asylum

“DIE HERETICAL SCUM!!!”

~ The Eram whilst running around his/its maximum security padded containment cell throwing his/its plastic cutlery at imaginary scientologists

“The scientologists...THEY'RE OUT TO GET ME!!!!”

~ The only statement The Eram has made to date that actually makes logical sense

“YOU want to be my friend, RIGHT???”

~ The Eram to another unsuspecting citizen, this time brandishing a shotgun

“I would have been your daddy, but a dog beat me over the fence!!!”

~ Sgt. Johnson to The Eram during the invasion of Earth

Random Quotations By Eram 19,'s "Friend" Charl3(s) (Who actually wrote most of the more intelligent stuff on this user page, but who doesn't really want to take credit for it because it's so schite...)

“I reject your reality, and substitute it with my own!”

~ The Eram on his/its views of the world

“This page is beneath my contempt. I shall not deign to acknowledge its existence with so much as my name.”

~ The Gozz on The Eram

“One of my many rare medical conditions manifests itself in acts of extreme violence whenever I am put under any pressure, or am told that the Leprechauns don't actually exist...”

~ Eram. 19's excuse for his violent, often lethal behaviour.

“Detox, rehab, it's a weekly thing for me. They say, "If you've got it, flaunt it." I say, "If you've got it, use it up, wear it out, get it flushed out and start again on Monday...”

~ Eram. 19 explaining his addiction to medication/drugs of any kind to his "friend" Charles

The Eram

The Eram (Latin - Shorticus Pallidicus, 1993 - present), aka the Evil Random Albino Midget, as it names itself, is the largest collection of split personalities currently documented. The Eram is unique, in that it does not have a definite identity; instead his/its mind consists of a coagulation af many (some scientists estimate hundreds) different personas, many of which are highly mentally unstable, to the point of being deranged, meglomaniacal, pyromaniacal, and even socio/psychopathic. Due to his/it's many dangerous dispositions, the Australian Government has made several attempts to restrain the Eram in custody; however, to this date, no Maximum-Security Mental Asylum has been able to hold him/it for more than a few weeks, mainly due to his/its ability to mysteriousely procure weapons/start fires out of nowhere.

The Eram currently holds several world records, including Most Number of Mental Asylum Breakouts (23 to date), Most Number of Split Personalities (Number has not yet been defined - around 70 different personas have been documented to date, but many scientists estimate there could be hundreds), Largest Number of Invisible Friends (Including Bob, Eugene, Dr. Smythe, and the Leprechauns), and Largest Number of Scientologist Jihads Declared upon him (The Church of Scientology see the Eram as an affront to everything they stand for, and as such have made several attempts on the Eram's life, all of which have gone horribly wrong).

The Eram is currently on the run from The Police, Fire Department, and the highly secretive Australian Organisation for the Restraint and Safe Custodial Detention of Mentally Unstable Persons (A.O.R.S.C.D.M.U.P.). The Eram's current estimated location is somewhere in the central Australian Desert, having just recently escaped from the secret underground detention facility the Australian Government built there to contain him. It is estimated that the Australian Government spends around $45 billion AUD each year on protecting its citizens from the Eram. However, this is insignificant in comparison to the amount of money that other world governments pay to Australia each year to stop the Eram from migrating to another country.

Paleness

One of the most notable features of the Eram (apart from its deranged lopsided grin and homocidal expression) is its skin-colouring. The Eram's skin is so pale that it does not fit onto the currently accepted colour spectrum. As such, it appears to the normal human eye as a glowing white aura. The Eram's pallid complexion is also notable for its ability to reflect and magnify any light reflected upon it. In the dark, this results in a sickly white-yellowish glow surrounding The Eram. In full daylight, looking directly at the Eram for more than a few seconds will result in permanent blindness. (However, it is theorised that this is due to the Eram's sheer ugliness rather than its glow). Scientists have been pondering and debating for centuries what causes the Eram's skin to appear and act in this way. Several theorems exist, including nuclear experimentation, satanical intervention, and/or scientologist "treatments".

Note To All Humans And The Gozz

My only non-imaginary "friend" who can also see The Leprechauns (or at least, who claims to), can often be found trawling aimlessly through the crap on his/its own user page, user:Charl3(s). His page is even sadder than mine, if that's possible to believe...

My only other non-imaginary "friend" Gozz, (who thinks himself too superior to believe in such happy magical creatures as Leprechauns and Unicorns), also has a user page- and yes, despite appearances, he totally wrote it himself!

(Self-Appointed) Runner-Up Of The Anti-Scientologist Of The Year Award 2009 This user hates scientologists (amongst other unintelligent lifeforms) almost as much as his "friend" Charles (winner of the Anti-Scientologist of the year award 2009 and 2010,) does. All you grovelling little Scientologists out there who actually value your miserable lives existences, flee!