User:EpicAwesomeness/Infomercial

Are you sick of horrid television commercials?

Are you sick of horrid television commercials?

Are you disgusted by their content?

Are you disgusted by their content?

Do you want MORE than implications of the product's power?

Do you want MORE than implications of the product's power?

Are you in need of a thirty minute montage of Tiddy Bear clips?

Are you in need of a thirty minute montage of Tiddy Bear clips?

Do you want a clean, family-friendly viewing experience? Well...

Do you want a clean, family-friendly viewing experience? Well...

...because INFOMERCIALS could be the answer!

...because INFOMERCIALS could be the answer!

Hi, I'm a celebrity - no, really - and I'm here to tell you about

Hi, I'm a celebrity - no, really - and I'm here to tell you about

INFOMERCIALS!

INFOMERCIALS!

INFOMERCIALS are thirty minute crap-spewing promotions

for products you don't want or need!

INFOMERCIALS are thirty minute crap-spewing promotions

for products you don't want or need!

Thanks to our patented BRAINWASHING formula, infomercials

convince you to buy even the most pointless garbage!

Thanks to our patented BRAINWASHING formula, infomercials

convince you to buy even the most pointless garbage!

And they work with everything, including KNIVES...

And they work with everything, including KNIVES...

LIVE ANIMALS...

LIVE ANIMALS...

...and I don't even know what the hell that is!

...and I don't even know what the hell that is!

And now let's see what the public thinks of infomercials!!

And now let's see what the public thinks of infomercials!!

Last week I got my paycheck. Thanks to infomercials,

I had wasted it on an automated stereo deckchair in

minutes!

Last week I got my paycheck. Thanks to infomercials,

I had wasted it on an automated stereo deckchair in

minutes!

I could have exercised or had fun today, but I sat on the

couch and watched infomercials all day. Thank you

infomercial!

I could have exercised or had fun today, but I sat on the

couch and watched infomercials all day. Thank you

infomercial!

I bought an expensive-yet-half-price diamond necklace for

the woman I was stalking, with the help of an infomercial!

Now, I'm in jail, andI'm a registered sex offender!

Hell yeah!

I bought an expensive-yet-half-price diamond necklace for

the woman I was stalking, with the help of an infomercial!

Now, I'm in jail, andI'm a registered sex offender!

Hell yeah!

geth