User:Distinction
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I'm friggin the bomb shit. Also Jessica gives me huge erections.
Real Facts about Tom Selleck[edit | edit source]
- Tom Selleck doesn't grow moustaches, he thinks about them and they appear.
- Tom Selleck doesnt have a moustache. Instead he has a profitable company that smuggles mexicans on his upper lip.
- At one point, Tom Selleck's moustache was hiding 3 cows, a minivan and a jet. When Tom Selleck sneezed, he started world war 2.
- Tom Selleck is actually Tom Selleck ..but naked and standing on his head
- Tom Selleck does not eat like you and I, instead he collects kelp through his moustache.
- Tom Selleck does not seduce women. Although he did one time, and Optimus Prime was born.
- Tom Selleck is actually the ozone layer.
- When Tom talks about three men and a little lady, hes actually talking about his privates.
- One night Tom Selleck, tom jones and barbra striesand had a threesome. The result? Rachael Speirs.
- Tom Selleck has slept with your mom and keeps her panties in his moustache.
- Tom Selleck has slept with your mom, and his moustache IS her panties.
- Tom Selleck doesnt believe in ghosts, he believes in moustaches!