User:Dimension\Stuck

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

30 June 2007

Today, the man wanted for the bombing of a supermarket was found stuck in a door. Some local bystanders found Mr Dill Hole stuck in the doorway of a McDonalds and contacted the authorities. The police had tried to arrest the man but he is a fat crap and they couldn't fit him in a jail cell, so they had to take the elephants out of a zoo and let the elephants go around trampling people in Iraq. The death toll by the elephants was estimated to be around 378.5 (Authorities couldn't find the other half of some guy).

The Police locked Mr Hole in the elephants enclosure and when Mr Hole tried to sit down he caused a Tsunami (which was named Bill) which nearly wiped out the local whale population. Oh, and the Tsunami also wiped out Indonesia.

After a huge inspection by some of the world's leading detectives, it became apparent that Mr Hole did not blow up the supermarket, rather he just released a huge wave of gas that was ignited by a cigarette butt.