User:DarkOverlordSatan/George Bush finally realizes he isn't in power any more.

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

29 May 2009

Today, George Bush finally realizes why that Orange button on his desk in Texas labeled "Use only in Severe Situations" does not work. What seemed like a dream on January 21, 2009 suddenly seems all to real for Ex-President George Bush. "It was like a shock of realization," says George Bush, "Everything suddenly made sense. The people screaming, the people throwing shoes at me. Everything was put into place." Yes that's right folks, George Bush realized that he is a loser now. As soon as this realization happened George Bush went on to develop high tech laser beams, an anti terrorist system that actually worked and an idea for a self sustainable stock market that could survive even if half of it failed miserably. "Now with all this time on my hands and all of the pressure of taking away attention from the actual ruler of this country, I can think clearly. No more need to down five bottles of whiskey to dim my intelligence before a meeting with the Cabinet. To be exact, the only cabinet I see now is my kitchen cabinet. It feels so great to be free." George Bush told UnNews. News as come from certain undergrounds sources, (cough, Al Gore, cough, cough) that George Bush might be nominated for the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize for his new inventions. What was the dramatic change that turned this presidential hill billy into a brilliant scientist? Find out next time on UnNews. Original News