User:DarkBlue/The Big Game On Friday

The "Big Game On Friday" is a social and mating ritual of the North American teenager. The event takes place anually, during the final high school football game of the Mayan school year calender, always falling convienently on a friday. Despite the ritual's name, which dates back to the ancient Egyptian era, the event has little to do with the sport itself; this instead serves as the appropriatly violent backdrop for the night's events, usually consisting of the humiliating defeat of the "cool kids" and the nerd "getting the girl."

Setting the Scene

The location of the "Big Game" is essential to the optimal outcome of the event, and so must be carefully planned. The "game" itself must take place in a large, partiularly extravagant football stadium belonging to a suburban American high school named after a tree, such as "Oakwood" or "East Maple High School." Basic features should include a forest area perfect for the "cool kids" to ambush the hero, the school dork, and an overlarge parking lot for them to park their Mustangs or '74 Corvettes, which they drive 'cause, you know, they're the "cool kids."

"The Game"

The final football game of the year serves as the centerpiece of the ritual, and will set into motion the events of the night long before it begins. The game will somehow always pit the home team, the "Lions", "Tigers", or "Wolves" against their Arch Rivals, and despite being the "Biggest game of the year", there is nothing particularlly "Big" or important about it. Regardless of the randomly placed dramatic interception scenes occuring throughout the night, the end result will always be the same- the defeat of the home team by the skin of their teeth, and yet another humiliating blow to the "cool kids", one of whom is captain of the football team.