User:CleverScreenname

CleverScreenname

CleverScreenname is the Uncylcopedia pseudonym of a terribly hairy and unattractive male of the human species (although many scientists believe he may acually be a long-haired naked mole rat with an eating disorder and excrutiatingly severe stutter).

Artist's Rendering

Life and Times

When CleverScreenname is doing things far less productive than contributing to Uncyclopedia, he is often found gnawing on toothpicks, spending time and money listening to music of questionable quality, and not sleeping. CleverScreenname had nothing to do with the escapes from Alcatraz prison that took place in 1954. Although CleverScreenname uses the pseudonym aforementioned, he does not find it funny. Other pennames of his include Joseph Heller, Charles Dickens, and Samuel L. Jackson.

CleverScreenname's Thoughts About Subjects You Don't Care About

Oh, c'mon. Don't pretend you care. You're just like Dad. He never cared. And neither do you.

• Old people smell like old hot dogs and moth-balls.
• Chuck Norris jokes should be punishable by law. All offenders should be killed instantly by Jean-Claude Van Damme, the ultimate TimeCop.
• Godwin's Law is proved everytime an idiot picks up a keyboard.
• Thrift stores smell like bologna and musty blankets.
• Not enough attention is paid to the needs of corpses. Why aren't people making coffins more comfortable? I mean, you're gonna be in there for a while, right?
• Old people are apparently purchased from thrift stores.

Note to Anyone Stumbling Upon This Page

Seriously.

This is effectively an article that will not be linked to; it is intended to be a romping grounds and personal sandbox where CleverScreenname is able to write budding ideas and practice using Uncyclopedia formatting before unleashing general crap upon the public.

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

--CleverScreenname 06:18, 18 January 2008 (UTC)