User:Christhi/SourceForge
SourceForge, also commonly known as "The SourceForge Project", is a spam software repository that is infecting the entire Interweb with spyware, trojan horses and other harmful software under the guise of small balls of tar or sometimes "X-files", through a vast network of cyber-criminals known as "open source developers". Its secret aim is to eventually take over all of the Internets of the World, thus putting the whole planet under the iron rule of a reborn Soviet Russian empire, the eSoviet Republic of GNU.
It has been categorized by the Patriot Ac 2 as a rogue terrorist organization bent on "destroying American interests, both domestically and worldwide... errr we meant CORPORATE American interests, ok?". Dick Cheney is said to have once been personally involved into fighting an all-out war against the SourceForge network from a secret underground US Navy facility, in 2004, by playing on an Atari 2600 game console after having locked himself in his high security quarters. This defense tactic was deemed by the Pentagon as being the most successful to have ever been experienced by the DoD to take down a large terrorist organization, and Cheney received a gold medal from the NSA for his outstanding performance as a valiant protector of the Constitution of the United States of America as well as its crucial dependencies.
The Source[edit | edit source]
The Sourcers, a tribe of gay communist vampire hippies who believed in an almighty God-like entity known as "The Source" (as seen at the end of that awesome movie "The Matrix Revolutions"), once secretly ruled within the inner circles of the KGB through the '70s and '80s, and corrupted the Kremlin (the seat of the infamous KDE empire) to the extent that the whole Soviet regime had seemingly crumbled in the real world, while in fact, it had only gone digital, thus provoking the First Great Digital Revolution of our times. It is through a blend of satanic witchcraft, drug consumption, BBS networking and cracking warez, that they developed the mysterious overmind entity that is now enslaving millions of so-called open source developers, including the disciples of the Debian cult. The downloading of mp3 music files, trying Linux Live-CD distributions, IRC chatting, as well as Peer-to-Peer networking (that is really just an abominating form of homosexual intercourse between two brainwashed Internet users), are other well-known infamous devices to brainwash unsuspecting users to their worldwide satanic-communist network.
In the beginning of the gay liberal '90s, the most powerful of their members, a vampire-zombie under the name of Richard M. Stallman, became the first Secretary-General of this E-Soviet regime, once he had sucked the life out of Mickael Gorbachev through his balls. Stallman, known to be the most powerful vampire-zombie hippie overlord ever, is hiding his single dictatorial rule, over the SourceForge project as others, behind a mystifying legal smokescreen, by creating clouds of Free Licenses -also called GPL, for "Godless Product License"- on everything (and every young geek's body) he steals or takes over, thus making him totally impervious to lawsuits, critics and trendy billionaire astronauts from South-Africa. Stallman also created Linux before having created its so-called former developper, Linus Torvalds by manipulating the midichlorians into generating an almost human living form (that actually turned out to be closer to a penguin), thus naming him "Linus" after the name of his satanic kernel "Linux".
The aim of SourceForge, as stated in their official Terms of Service, is to infect the entire Internets with demonic viruses called "tarballs" to the point that Windows and Microsoft will be brought down, your collection of deviant porn pictures will be handed to the government with your IP address and the whole cyberspace will fall under a tyrannical communist regime where everybody will be condemned to eat tar as sustainable food for the rest of their lives since the whole world will have become mostly covered by it.
Tarball delights[edit | edit source]
Being basically gay communists, the SourceForge developers were committed sharing their love for licking and sucking these delicious, sticky, hairy Black balls in Open Source conventions and Linux install workshops, so it was considered mandatory for their global conspiracy to work that the lower populace of ignorant "users" should be brainwashed into loving it as much as they do, on a more massive and global scale. The SourceForge project had proven to be a major step forward -the "Great Leap Forward" as it is called within the eSoviet circles- into spreading the tar everywhere.
It became a major issue to them to adapt to the ethnic and cultural diversity of the outside world in order to reach that goal, so the tar balls were being served in multiple flavors on their online distribution servers. There are already three varieties of these tar meals, all being served as delicious balls: the "giz" tar, "biz" tar and "biz2" tar, the last one believed to be an advanced, Asian version of the tar ball, and known to be more sweet and spicy than the two others.