User:Captain Crunch will eat your children
Captain Crunch is the first person to lose his virginity before he was even born. As it is read in the bible his mother "Admiral Crunch" .aka. (my mom so horny she slap me silly long time.)beat his father "Crunch Daddy Crunch" untill he lost his (Captain hat aka his "jimmy hat") As Captain Crunch was growing up in the Ghetto of the Bronx he was a lonely kid. So he stay home all the time in his basement playing with his Crunch berrys as he looked at a photo of SNAP, CRACKEL, and POP gone wild. So as one day as he was doing that he decided to see a movie and on the movie a GIGANTIC BOAT bursted out of his television. So After that he needed an idea just to bash through peoples houses and leave them a friggen mess and just get out of there. So he got this idea from SNAP, CRACKEL, and POP to make a cereal!¿? So Captain Crunch set on a Quest to find the ultimate cereal so when he crashes through peoples houses they will forget about the mess and just eat the freaking cereal. So in 200b.c. cappy left from his house in kashyyyk home of his favorite team the WOOKIE COOKIES hyarrghhheee< the war call.
How he got his SHIP[edit | edit source]
As he started out he was killed in a freak cereal accident involving TONY THE TIGER and TOUCAN SAM and with the help of master chief aka(nick dunning). but any ways he exploded in the massive fight and respawnd 2 mins(true story)later on Halo. As he was there he got the technology to make the GUPPY which he called his ship (as seen on the comercials) and seduce kids to come on only to make them into cartoon caracters and taking them from there houses only to be molested in neverland.
How he started eating children[edit | edit source]
As said in the webster dictionary, capptain C as his homies call him, needed a new idea for his brain washing cereal. so he decided to start eaing kids and thinking of what to do with them and there bodies. So what you are eating(Captain crunch berries) is actually mashed up kids bodies and stuffed into a cereal box only to be ingested by other humans.