User:Bluecustard
Top ten most wanted garden gnomes[edit | edit source]
The SAIDNGG (The Society for the Aprehention and Imprisionment of Dangerous and Naughty Garden Gnomes) is offering rewards for information or evidence leading to the capture of any of the gnomes below.
Please note these following garden gnomes are considered armed and nearly a small threat. Do not approach any of these gnomes unless you have a large stick.
Percy Pottery[edit | edit source]
Description: Short and fat. Huge beard (white, fluffy) and often reported wearing a green top and waist high boots. No distinguishing features.
This gnome has partaken in terrible crimes that even Derik the Bank-robbing flea would be shocked to hear about. He has parked giant snails on double, yellow lines; terrorized neighboring gnomes with various items including a fishing rod and garden spade and annoyed local cats. He's also been reported to eat his tea without washing his hands.
If you have information leading to the whereabouts or any further footage of this fugitive please run around in your local highstreet screaming rude words and causing a public disturbance. Hopefully the police who arrest you will listen to your story and contact the SAIDNGG (or at least give you a nice, cosy rubber room to stay in.)
