User:Aleister/Women in the weeds
Women in the weeds are ladies who, having had bad relationships with one or more men, now seek revenge not upon the guys who did them wrong, but on their current boyfriends.
This new man is usually oblivious to the coming attack. The closeted-gay ones think everything is just fine, that their gal is the sweetest gal in the world, and life will be golden from here on in. All the other guys, who just want to get laid, think everything is just fine, their gal is the sweetest and most gullible gal in the world, and their sex life will be golden for at least a couple of more months.
Then, when the misplaced revenge emerges like a tornado on a sunny day, nothing can protect the boyfriend from the onslaught. It's like stalking, only it's right there in your face and screaming. Men, caught by surprise when they find out firsthand what "The Exorcist" was really all about, cringe and vow to research restraining orders. The women, having no idea that they even feel that any relatonship is an emotional death-trap, suddenly find themselves defending that last piece of chocolate cake like a lioness defending her cubs.
History[edit | edit source]
Eve[edit | edit source]
To understand the full force of the women in the weeds, just look to Eve. Either as a real girl or as a metaphor for everything that went wrong with the human race, Eve had everything going her way. No problems, lots to eat, plenty of sunshine, no attention whatsoever on what to wear or on who she was going to let touch her breasts. Then, bored out of her mind and just to show that she was in control, she plays bitch a little too hard and drives herself and her man out of paradise.
Why did she let the snake talk her into pwning Adam? Just to prove the point that no way in hell was she going to let a male, in this case her old boyfriend, God, tell her what to do, where to go, what to eat, or who to talk to. She knew what she was doing every step of the way. Then when God got fed up with her shit and booted her ass out the front door, Adam, wimpy to the last, followed.
Adam then sat around holding his head and moaning his loss while Eve jumped up-and-down clapping her hands while chuckling like a psychopath.
The rest of history[edit | edit source]
They all did it. All the women ever made at one time or another became a woman in the weeds. Very few of them knew it, because people don't usually fall on the North side of consciousness or can read-out any of the small chemical changes which constitute various kinds and stages of "emotions". All they know is that WTF? one minute you're telling him about your walk with the dog and the next you're tearing him a new one because of he moved his arm in a way that reminding you of something you thought he said to you a month ago (when actually he had just asked her to pass the pepper).
Then they kept on doing it, down to the present moment.
In popular culture[edit | edit source]
Women in the weeds are all over sitcoms and soap operas and movies. They've made a solid stand in reality shows ever since day one, and whenever you hear scrieking or a voice full of accusastion in a store or a resturant, you could count coup on one if you had the temperment.
One of the film roles portraying the breed is Cameron Diaz's role in Vanilla Sky. Even if you havent it, the character is common. She's Tom Cruise's fuck-buddy, for as many as five time in a single buddies-getting-together, and for Tom it's play while for her it's "Well, when is he going to marry me and have my babies?". When his attention wanders to Penelope Cruz she resents it, takes him for a drive, and takes her anger out by driving at high speed. She just crawled out of the weeds, and happened to be behind the wheel when it happened. Mother Nature plays strange tricks on the wicked and the wild, as dear granny used to say before they found her wandering on a highway in her nightgown while whistling that whistle song from Kill Bill.
- Cameron Diaz's character in Vanilla Sky
- in the black of night
- any and all symptoms of post traumatic sex syndrome