User:Adam Sane/Abraxas

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Abraxas is an ancient deity, primarily known for his Gnostic origins, though he has many other roots. The peak popularity of Abraxas was in the second century, where amulets engraved his likeness were commonplace around the world.


Etymology[edit | edit source]

Abraxas is originally a Greek name. In Greek numerology the name (αβραξας) sums to 365. This number is extremely important as there was considered to be 365 orders of spirits and 365 heavens. On original amulets, the name is printed as Abrasax. The confusion between the two is attributed to Greek scholar Ajax Dyslexius.

Many modern etymologists believe the word Abracadabra is derived from Abraxas, especially given his magical nature. Many other magical words are derived from deities. Alakazam (Allah), Presto (Pluto) and Hocus Pocus (Ra) are all examples of the phenomenon.


Formation[edit | edit source]

Scientists and Theologists have debated it for centuries. If Abraxas is an all-powerful being and can create and destroy at will, why did he choose such a bizarre form for himself? On March 13, 1986 a consensus was made. When you are omnipotent, you can afford to look like a freakshow. Who dares laugh?

Abraxas has the torso of a well built man and the head of a lion. His legs are replaced with serpents that end in scorpions for feet. Though less visible, certain radical Gnostic circles, such as the Cainites and Sethites, claim that he also has the tail of a pig and genetalia of an above average black male. Abraxas carries a whip by the name of Wisdom, a shield by the name of Power and a loincloth by the name of Justice.