User:Acmed2/Why?:Is everyone laughing at me?

Everyone.

Oh, hi there. Say, why don't you have a seat?

Well... you may not know this, but everyone is laughing at you. I'm laughing at you, retired actors are laughing at you, your parents, your friends, your girlfriend are all laughing at you. Believe it or not, you might be laughing at yourself as you read this. But it's not the quantity that matters (well, for you it does), but it's the reason why. Why is everyone laughing at you? And what way is there to stop it? Well, let me correct myself from the previous sentence: it's the reasons why that matter. Not only are we going to name as many as possible, we're going to make you feel bad in the meantime. Don't like that? Move to Canada.

Who Are You?

No, don't start singing The Who. I want to know who you are. This is very crucial when figuring out why people are laughing at you, as your personality could be your best or worst feature. It's nothing to worry about, really. Well, actually, it is. It's something you need to worry about a lot. Sometimes, this is a hard question to overcome due to the answer being fogged out by your mediocrity, so you might need to look a bit harder.

Your personality is different from the next guy, so you need to answer some vague questions on your own. 1. Have you done anything embarrassing in the past month involving nudity or drunk texting your ex-girlfriend. 2. Besides desperate and lonely, what's one word that can describe you? 3. On your local sex offenders registry, who looks the most like you and is he/she from Wyoming? And 4. Have you ever (be honest) been in a situation where you wake up in a bathtub after meeting a suspicious person at a bar with little to no vital organs in your body? If you've answered these questions and you now feel a sense of redundancy, move on to the next section of this article.

What Are You?

I know you're a human you smartass, but what kind of human are you? This is a different from the previous question, in which that focused on personality. Here, we focus on race, gender, and ethnicity to pinpoint the reason why you are the laughing stock of everybody in your life. This, unfortunately, is something you can not change, unless you are a white rapper, but as soon as you isolate the problem, you can find a way to cope with it (or just use some paint).

If you're white and female, there is a 9 out of 10 chance that you are indeed basic. Basic white girls are usually being laughed at by neckbeards, hipsters, and Starbucks baristas, and they only increase in population by the second. If you can not tell if you are basic, go check the amount of Uggs and yoga pants in your closet. If the summed amount of these two items exceed past the number of days in a week, you're a basic white girl and people are probably laughing at you because of it. Basic white boys do exist, but are very rare and habituate only in America and the part of Canada that is pretty much America.

If you are black or almost black (which you're probably not, considering this is Uncyclopedia), you don't have to worry about being laughed at for this particular reason. The rest of the world is too scared to be jumped or terrorized to laugh at these people. It is possible to be laughed at by your dark/caramel skinned brothers, but not for racial reasons. If you're experiencing this problem, put down your watermelon or bomb and continue reading this article.

Where Are You?

If you live in Europe, but reside in England, France, Scotland, Ireland, or Germany, people are most likely laughing at you because you accent is weird. Now, many other non-European countries may have accents, but its citizens aren't being laughed at because of it. This is because of one thing: America. American tourists are unavoidable in Europe, and along with being the meanest people ever, they will laugh at you for your accent. The five countries listed, however, are the only ones America genuinely cares enough for to visit. If you tell an American there are actually over 50 countries in Europe, they'll just scoff and go back to eating McDonalds and watching NASCAR with porn and World of Warcraft playing in the computer next to them like the stereotyping whiners they are.

Essentially, if you live anywhere in the world that's not America, you are probably being laughed at by Americans. Sure, Americans take up only 4% of the world's population, but percentage doesn't matter if you can't hear it over their laughter.

When Are You?

Yes, this is a grammatically correct question. You're being laughed at, so you're in no position to argue with anyone ever.

Certain ages and growing up in a certain era can be a source of the constant laughter you may be a victim of. Whether it be the culture of the era, the clothes worn, the music listened to, or common sense that was followed. Below is an in-depth look on these different eras:

1930s: Being raised in this decade ensures that you are a needy person. The Great Depression makes you use things to your advantage even if that is not the intended purpose. You may use tampons when you have a bloody nose while eating at a Wendy's. Your use of items as if every given moment is a recession may be the reason that you're being laughed at.

1940s: Ever since World War II, you have been paranoid of everything. You are the old man at Wal-Mart who fights the mannequins screaming "It's a Nazi! It's a potato! It's a tambourine!" You're embarrassing and we're kind of glad that you're being mocked.

1950s: What a better time to be alive for music in the 1950s! And holy shit were you going crazy! Not only were you into jazz, but rock and roll, classical, and literally anything else that was arising. Right now, you're probably sucking on your thumb in the corner deciding on if you should listen to Elvis or Reel Big Fish. Go see a therapist.

1960s: Revolution! You might wanna put the bong down, mate. People are laughing at your hippy ass.

1970s: It was basically the 1960s but with more drugs! Huzzah! Down with the man! Down with this sort of thing!

1980s: You should be fine if you were born in the '80s so long as you've changed your style since that monstrosity. The hair was huge and unhealthy, pants were breast high, and it was all topped off with people playing on electronic keyboards all day. God that was horrible.

1990s: Hopefully you did not have sexual relations with that woman, and hopefully you were not wearing a flannel shirt whilst yelling for Jesus to make heavenly love to you. That's just weird.

2000s: Technically you're not being laughed at. With the Internet, people are laughing at you through screens. What do they know? They're messing with the wrong "mega hax0r XDDDD spork", right?

2010s: You are literally a small child.

2020s: You are literally a time traveler.

How Are You?

Good? Well that's good. But back to business.