User:A.W.S.Ohm/FUCKING WIN

"FUCKING WIN" is a film of the genre Action/Adventure/Drama/Sci-Fi/Horror/Musical/Pornography/Comedy/Western/romance/ Disaster/Mystery/Thriller co-written by Joss Whedon, Alan Moore and Philip Reeve. The film was co-directed by Peter Jackson, Quentin Tarantino and Danny Boyle.

The film lasts 756 days, as it was co-directed by Peter Jackson.

Filming

There was a long argument about weather the film would be shot in 2D or 3D it was decided that the film would not be shot... Like at all. The reason for this is that Polarised 3D is shit. Instead it was decided that the film would be acted out in front of the audience where the viewer is the main character, this became problematic when there was more than one person in the theatre, so to solve this problem the rest of the theatre is executed during the first act and used as food as the cast and viewer for the 757 day struggle.

Plot

The plot was based heavily on the real life of the average Scotsman. The film starts, in the traditional Danny Boyle way, with The main character, Borne Ready, lying on the floor, pissed out of their head on the floor, when suddenly Quentin Tarantino cues the space ninjas. There was a FIREFIGHT which resulted in the death of the main character. At this point everything goes black and then a beam of light, and you can see God and his guitar, fog creeps on to the stage and as the light gets brighter you see the bass guitarist (Jesus) and the drummer (Moses). And with one gentle stroke of the strings it begins, slowly with pace and rhythm he builds up cord by cord the most AMAZING rock introduction ever demonstrated by deitys. During which he explains the meaning of everything and tells Borne Ready that he is needed to make the universe right within 758 days, or the shit will go down.

Borne Ready is then brought back to life, unfortunately creating a zombie virus by doing so. He however manages to stop using a roller-coaster theme-park and alot of machetes. After this fight he finds true love in one of the zombies he calls Ugghh (after the noise she makes during sex). The next few days are dedicated in showing the obvious problems with this relationship, held together only by romance... and alot of sex... tons... most of it is non-consenting.

As I said, non consensual, sometimes by both parties.

It was proven in 2004 by scientists at the field where the CERN LHC was to be built that it is impossible to comprehend how dam good this film is given a word based description, but just to give you an idea of how good it is - the worst part is when Stephanie Mair is brutally murdred... Slowly and painfuly... And burned on a large pile of low quality literature. Just imagine how EPIC the rest of the film must be!

Cast

• Zachary Quinto
• The brothers Morgan Freeman & Gordon freeman
• Quentin Tarantino
• Boris Johnson
• Michael C. Hall
• Nick Hewer
• Karen Gillan FIT!!
• Dorian Gray
• Karl Marx
• Aldous Huxley
• Jusus Christ
• The twins Silvio Berlusconi and Verres

And so many more...

Chuck Norris

In a press conference the film creators were asked the reason why Chuck Norris was not asked to participate in the film, considering the quantity of high class celebritys. In reply the person asking was punched in the face and told "What the FUCK is wrong with you people? He is seventy years old! He wasn't even that good when he was young!"

Reception

The film is watched by receptionists when they should be DOING THERE FUCKING JOB!

Acclaim

FUCKING WIN was nominated for every Oscar ever created, and it won them all. And is recognised by everyone as the second best film ever created, after Plywood - The movie, a film shot in black and white and spoken in Urdu, with no subtitles.

Music

The soundtrack -featuring only original content- was created by the Beatles, for which John Lennon was resurrected specially, Elvis, Gandhi, Daft Punk and the guy who invented music by bashing a stick on a rock.

Michael Jackson was sought after for the soundtrack, but the Iluminati had cursed his body so he could not be brought back.

--A.W.S.Ohm 02:30, January 9, 2011 (UTC)