User:ㄏㄨㄤㄉㄧ/Chinese Empire

Chinese Empire
Empire of China
China

(Flag) (Coat of Arms)
Motto: ㄋㄨㄥ 兀ㄇㄚ ㄙˋ ㄆㄡ.
Anthem: "Imperial March"
The Chinese Empire at the time of its greatest extent.
Capital	Anyang (later Chang'an and Beijing), Currently in Lala Land
Largest city	Chang'an or Anyang
Official languages	Chinese, Mongolian, Turkish, Manchu, Other Altaic Languages, Tocharian, Tibetan, Austronesian,
Government	Empire
Emperor	Son of Heavan, Haung Di(Emperor), Wang(King) Anyone Huang Di No Yu Not Mi
Legislative body	NONE, WE LIKE AUTOCRATIC RULE- mongol and turk parts of the empire have Kurultai. Their khans are chosen by aving a competition where all the members of the tribe fuck as many horses as they can. When a horse actually gets pregnant the person is chosen.
National Heroes	Huang Di, the 5 August ones and 3 soverigns, prince YU, NOT MI, Mao ZeDong, Sun Yixian, Shi Huang Di, and Chiang Kai Shek(Cash my Check), Attila the Hun.
Independence	September 2, 31 BC
Currency	Yuan and Cash and Jiaozi™
Area	86 million cubic light years (+/- 5 meters3)
Population	Emperors: 1 Kings: 1 Nobility: 4 billion Gentry: 5 billion Merchants: 3 billion Artisans: 45 million Peasants: 70 trillion soldiers: 100 trillion DJ's: 1 Crapers: 1
National dinosaur	Chinese Dragon
National religion	Chinese folk religion Daiosm Confucinism
Population

The Chinese Empire was first founded by a guy named Shit Huang Dick, the first Emperor of China. Though there were so self called proclaimed emperors before him, like the 3 august n july, 3 soverigns and 50 cent, and prince YU, not MI, and the Xia-shit dynasty, shang, and Zhou, we like to call him the first emperor. His dynasty was named the Chin dynasty, because he had a fat double chin. Before that was the Spring and autmn period, named that because those were the only two seasons allowed.

Shit Huang Dick made Illegalism the philosophy of his Empire, because everything he did was illegal according to Confucious, the philosophers and the Gods.

The biggest competitor of the Empire is the People's Rebpublic of China.

Notice the way the freaky dragon's limbs are spread out on the Coat of Arms. It was smushed by a car.

The current Emperor is in a state of a coma, and will not be awoken for another 10,000 years. The empire is highly centralized, beauracratic, yet they still say fuedalism was the best thing God made. Removing it ws a crime against humanity. a short history on chinese kingdoms and dynasties, menstrual periods will follow.

First Rulers

The first Emperors were the 3 soverigns, 5 emperors, and the rapper 50 cent. They ruled in succesion until Prince YU not MI took the throne and made it hereditary.

Pre imperial Period, shitty Xia, Shang, Zhou, spring and autumnal equinox + Warring states

This was a period of great suckers like confucious, feudalism, mass conscription, mass murder, mathematics, and philosophy. Chariots, and the first trousers were introduced by barbarians from this period.

Qin Dynasty

Shi Huang Di founded the Qin dynasty, taking the unprecedented title of shit, not shit, because he was not the first emperor to rule china. He built a Terracotta Army to

Sui Dynasty

The Emperors of Sui were the Avatars AKA reincarnations of George Walker Bush. He repeteadly attacked Goguryeo like George Bush did to Iraq, and refused to listen to his advisers. He was being controlled like his chancellor like Bush is being controlled by Ricard bruce "dickhead" Penis Cheney.

Tang Dynasty

Mass conversion to Buddhism in this period implanted many Indian secret agents in China during this period, and angered the old Gods and ancestors. They and muhammed sent the islamic jihadist arabs from the depths of hell to defeat them at the Battle of the River Talas.

Empire Refounded, also dead at the same time

The body of one of the ancient soverigns of China was dound in a laquered jade suit, apparently in a coma. He was embalmed when his tomb was exacvated during the Han dynasty, before that he was soaked in wine.