Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:Fag/I didn't want to be a troll!
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User:Fag/I didn't want to be a troll![edit source]
My first article on here... it's meant to be written in the style of one of those silly women's magazines (e.g. Take a Break, if you've heard of it). I hope you like it...~Fag x FS
| Humour: | 4 | It's pretty funny so far, but with a bit more work it could be a lot funnier. It also needs a lot more length, it's way too short! |
| Concept: | 7 | Not original, but still, everyone has poked fun at trolls. This is something IMO is long overdue. |
| Prose and formatting: | 3 | Not exactly thrilled with the layout, needs some work done to it. Still a good start though. |
| Images: | 5 | A few more images, and spread them out a bit more. |
| Miscellaneous: | 3 | Nice insult of ED, but it's not long enough and it's too obvious. |
| Final Score: | 22 | Not a bad start, you've got the concept, but it needs some work in formatting, humor, and length. Just don't use shock, or go too over-the-top with the parody. And for the love of god, don't use any ED memes outside of parody. Ugh. |
| Reviewer: | --SPAZ! | Tell me some stuff | What I've done 08:23, 29 November 2007 (UTC) | |
| Humour: | 3 | I can see the potential humour there, with some better writing it could be a lot funnier though. The homosexual innuendo does not aid to it however. |
| Concept: | 7 | The concept is very good. It's very original and is satrical of something people already make fun of. |
| Prose and formatting: | 2 | The article could do with a lot of shaping up to make it look a lot more like a woman's magazine article. |
| Images: | 6 | The images used are quite amusing, but there could be a wider array to add to the article. Also could be more interspersed to make it look like a page of a woman's magazine with extracts from the article to accompany them. |
| Miscellaneous: | 2 | Making fun of ED is always fun, but it is done in a blatant way. Also make the gay jokes more subtle, otherwise it is slightly derogetary and not too funny. |
| Final Score: | 20 | Overall I think the article's concept is great, but it needs to be tidied up and seriously needs some of the content edited. Focus more on how it's written, shape up the gay jokes, format it and insult ED in a better way. Try to avoid the Goatse. |
| Reviewer: | --Quall 10:04, 28 November 2007 (UTC) | |
- Just a point: It's written EXACTLY in the style of a woman's magazine (some of the sentence structures even directly taken from various magazines) so giving the Prose a 2 was just blatantly given to lower the score and asking for "better writing" is unjustified. Fair enough about formatting, but really I need help with that, I'm no web formatting genius. ~Fag x FS
- I totall understand that, I just think you could make it a bit more obvious is all. It didn't truly scream WOMAN'S MAGAZINE to me is the point. Just because you have the same formatting as one and the same sentance structures, doesn't automatically mean it will sound the same. Try to communicate the idea in other ways too. I think with some work, this could be a fantastic article. It really does have some good potential if it was more satire in style. --Quall 10:41, 29 November 2007 (UTC)