Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Uncyclopedia Department of Tourism

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A new article by me, and I think this might be my funniest one yet. I say that a lot about my articles, but I mean it this time. Really. Just review. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 03:10, 6 November 2007 (UTC)

Oooh, sounds cool. I got this one. --  Le Cejak • <-> 05:12, 6 November 2007 (UTC)

Humour:	7.3	avg of all the sections. Introduction (10) now that had funny. "Fans walks on the beach?" is why this isn't a 10. 1 The Sun (8) above average introduction 1.1 Information (7) adequate. I want you to throw in some crazy facts about the sun and sell it to us in spite of them! How hot is it? How big is it? Incorporate real facts into the description, and you'll get a 10 from me. 1.2 But what is there to do? (8) above average. I still want some outrageous sun facts in here. BTW good call on the sun, I love it! Should it be the first section? I haven't looked at the other ones, but I would probably say that this is the most outrageous section. ...maybe it should go last? 2 Nauru (7) I just came back from the sun and you're asking me to go to some random pacific island? 2.1 Demographics (9) When you're visiting the smallest populated island in the middle of the world's largest ocean, you're going to need a lot more than your friendly GPS to get there. Ha! Yes! THAT'S WHAT I WANTED IN THE FIRST PLACE!! put into the introduction, please. I wanted to know this earlier! 2.2 Attractions (9) Nice nice nice. Please use this section as a template for the sun section. I want hilariously wacky demographics on the sun, suh! 3 Montana (6) Uh... Montana? Well the introduction makes me think you're going to throw weird demographics my way. You'd better, because (A) it's what you did with the sun and Nauru and (B) otherwise, why the hell talk about Montana? 3.1 Demographics (10) Dammit you tricked me. I thought this wasn't going to be funny! In fact, that was probably the best stand-up-esque part of the whole article so far. I finally "get" the article. It goes LAME INTRODUCTION, CRAZY FACTS, and finally WEIRD JOKES ABOUT THE PLACE. 3.2 Attractions (7) lol, what now? I don't think that Montana brand dental floss has... hit the market yet? 4 Hmmm, done so soon? (7) adequate finale. Talk about what would happen to the usual person who went to all those places. Add a few more sections (see concept & final comments)
Concept:	8	Yes, I like the idea of having only three locations. I was afraid of having to sift through 20 different places. However, it still kinda feels unfinished. It wouldn't hurt to add a fourth place that's interesting. Black hole? Antarctica? Ancient Egypt?
Prose and formatting:	8	Above avg formatting, but not the coolest formatting.
Images:	7	adequate images, I would say. Nothing to write back to mom about.
Miscellaneous:	7.6	avg'd
Final Score:	37.9	I think my review covered all the adjustments I would make. I liked reading this article a lot, however I have no idea how it would do on VFH, but I know that if this were my baby, I would keep writing and cleaning it up a bit. Add another location, move the sun to the last location. We don't want to have to go SUN!! Nauru! ...montana. Add another section or two, mayhaps? I gave you a few ideas up there. I hope I helped, TKF! KEEP ON TRUCKIN'!
Reviewer:	Le Cejak • <-> 05:41, 6 November 2007 (UTC)

Would you think Montana / Nauru / Sun would work better? It would be gradually increasing on the "wackiness" scale... -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 05:47, 6 November 2007 (UTC)

Yes, montana, nauru, sun, add a few sections. --  Le Cejak • <-> 05:50, 6 November 2007 (UTC)

make sure it increases in insanity. --  Le Cejak • <-> 05:51, 6 November 2007 (UTC)

Meh, adding another section would just require more work :( I think I'll just make a few improvements on Sun, rearrange a bit, then call it a day. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 05:51, 6 November 2007 (UTC)

Don't give up on this article, it's awesome. Add one more location, eventually? for me? --  Le Cejak • <-> 05:53, 6 November 2007 (UTC)

Maybe... if I think of something else... -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 05:58, 6 November 2007 (UTC)