Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/The Mothers of Invention

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The Mothers of Invention[edit source]

User:MagicBus/sig3 13:04, 4 July 2013 (UTC)

I'm on it, I'll finish this after dinner. --Tumb13weed (talk) 16:47, 4 July 2013 (UTC)
Done. -- Tumb13weed

Tumbleweed01.gif 21:10, 4 July 2013 (UTC)

Humour: 6 Average. There are certain parts that are really funny, and certain bland bits. I'll take 'em up section-by-section.

Introduction: No complaints on the content, but a little expansion might help.

  1. Background: It's funny. You may of course, add a bit of Zappa's history, only a line or two, telling us of his escapades prior to his meeting with Jimmy Carl Black. Also, you know they were originally an RnB band called The Soul Giants, before they turned into backing musicians for Frank Zappa. You can use that information.
  2. History: You may make this a separate section with some content, informative with respect to the Mothers' studios, record labels, early gigs, and similar events that took place before their first album. The album descriptions may be put in a new section.
    1. Fuck Me Out: Very good indeed. Add some information regarding its sales and publicity, and the general reception of the album. You may not, as well. It is funny enough already.
    2. Absolute Abs: It's good. The funniest bit of the article IMO. Formatting slip up: Fuck Me Out!,Absolute Abs show how you denote each album title. Stick to one style.
    3. We Don't Care...: It's a bit randumb. Its randumbness is even more prominent due to the brilliant preceding paragraph. Yet this is the largest paragraph among the three albums listed. Should have been the other way round.
  3. Personnel: Picture on the right shows four people, this list notes three.
  4. Discography: Some of the original names could have been kept. Like for example Burnt Weeny Sandwich. It's funny in its own right. Otherwise it's good. Sure is funnier than We Don't Care.
Concept: 7.3 Cookie. This denotes that I appreciate the effort of taking up a challenging article. Doesn't automatically mean that you've done so well, but anyway. Thing is, your primary presentation is parodical, twisting the original names about and playing with them. There isn't a high degree of originality. That factor, however, is more than compensated for by what you have written. Anyone going through the Discography will find the familiarities in the title and laugh.
Prose and formatting: 8.5 Okay. Good use of links and emphases wherever applicable. In any case, I did a proofreading and general brushing.
Images: 6 There are only two images, and thankfully they are relevant. The second image, however, shows no indication that it is an album cover, and not just the background image of the same. Hurts to add the album name using Paint?

Image suggestions as usual:

  • Black and Zappa in a compromising situation
  • Any live picture of the Mothers, appropriately captioned
  • Picture of Zappa and Estrada with a dark background. "Jimmy is also in the picture."
Miscellaneous: 7 Avg'd score.
Final Score: 34.8 Can be improved. You may want to check out what Wikipedia has to say about the Mothers. That often gives me ideas, specially when I'm writing something strictly parodical. Also, you may choose to make a new section or two, for the Early Years, and on why they were completely idle from 1975-1993. Do note that these are suggestions alone. And from my personal point of view. This may, in somebody else's opinion, make the article worse or better. As I have reviewed several of your works, I'm guessing you're starting to get tired of suggestions, so I felt obliged to add this.
Reviewer: Tumb13weedTumbleweed01.gif 20:42, 4 July 2013 (UTC)