Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/RuneScape Syndrome
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
RuneScape Syndrome[edit source]
Review it and leave a message on my talk page. Now.
- How's about putting it in a category first? Zen Rfanklib 02:30, 8 June 2009 (UTC)
- Which category?
| Humour: | 2.5 | I know that's a bad score, but there are some good reasons why. First, as HTBFANJS will tell you, bashing RuneScape is nothing new, and it's been done many, many times. If you want this to avoid VFD, you need to alter the direction of your article. Expand your article and change your wording to avoid things like "player moderator" that only RS players like myself would get. Also, because you're writing about a disease, make sure you stick to a 3rd person, encyclopedic perspective. The other problem you have is that your article is too short. Right some more about the history of the disease, the side effects of the disease, or something along those lines. Make sure people will understand it though, which i'll get into below. |
| Concept: | 3 | I'm assuming you play RuneScape. Well, so do I, so we can talk in Rspeak for a second here. When you talk about things like Player Moderators (which I happen to be- go me!) and use images that are from RuneScape mirrors, your article confuses 9 out of 10 people who view it. I think you should get rid of all things inside of RuneScape during your writing, as gradually explain them as you write the article. For example: "RuneScape syndrome victims often become advanced players who monitor the game, known as player moderators". That way, people understand what you're talking about, which makes them laugh at the article more. |
| Prose and formatting: | 2 | Not very good. I spot 3 problems that you can correct: first, your first image has much too long a caption, and as a result, it drags into the next section, so reduce your caption there. Second, mid-way through you have a list. Lists are not ideal in articles, and are usually unfunny and a pain to read, so i'd recommend you make that into a paragraph. Finally, your article is much too short, which makes your text seem more cluttered than it should be. Towards the end, you use those big quotations. Change those to italics, as they're easier to read and get the point across better. |
| Images: | 3 | You've got one image right now, and it doesn't really cut it. There are several ideas for images on this article- maybe you could steal the picture from Fat Americans or have a picture of a new user acting like an idiot? These are just ideas, and I recommend you put some effort into finding some good images for this article. |
| Miscellaneous: | 2.5 | My overall grade of the article. |
| Final Score: | 13 | Your main problems right now are that your article is too short, and doesn't appeal to enough people to make it funny. To recap: expand your article to eliminate lists and make your concept appeal to a larger group of people, as well as adding some new images and ensuring that your sections are evened out right. You've picked a very difficult concept here, but don't give up on it- the end result could be very funny if you keep at it.
Bottom Line: Expand your humor, fix your grammar, make your article longer, and add some more images. Good luck! =) |
| Reviewer: | Saberwolf116 17:01, 8 June 2009 (UTC) | |