Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Indianapolis Colts
Indianapolis Colts[edit source]
An Unwehr rewrite. Hopefully it's not too long, and accessible to non-Football fans. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:32, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
| Humour: | 7.5 | Pretty funny, Guildy- it's another great article. I liked the main idea, it's just that you need more types of humor, there was nothing but "choke jokes". My favorite part was without a doubt the Super Bowl section. It was very funny and in context with the article. Maybe you could go back to 1958 and talk about the so-named Greatest Game of All Time and how much of a dissapointment it was, or something.
The main thing to watch for with sports articles is if they are accesible to people who are non sports fans. What you need to do is talk about the team history so they know all the important facts of the team. You did this, you just need to be more in-depth with the facts. For instance, don't just say "In 1984 the Colts moved from Baltimore to Indiannapolis," say why. And how. Other than that, you're nothing short of a Top 3 of the Month spot with this. |
| Concept: | 8 | I love the concept, making the Colt's biggest gripe their goal. Total bullshit, yet not that far from reality- the epitome of what we're trying to accomplish at Uncyclopedia.
As for the execution, can't say it's flawless. You talk a bit too much about how choke-tastic the Colts are instead of their real team history. Maybe you could replace some of the more irrelevant sections with the team history. The Namath article could be a good example of how. |
| Prose and formatting: | 7 | God, I hate this section.
Well, it is a bit header-heavy. You could change some of the headers to level 2's, and remove a couple of the images. fix a couple spelling errors and make it less rough around the edges. |
| Images: | 6 | I think there may be too many. remove a couple of them or move them around so that they fit better. Other than that, pretty good. A bit generic, but then again they need to be, and good captions. (Altough some of the captions at the beginning were a bit rusty.) |
| Miscellaneous: | 7.1 | averaged |
| Final Score: | 35.6 | Right now the best thing to do would be to make it more accesible to non football fans by making it more factual. you should also make it more consistent, iron out the wrinkles, and boom- feature. |
| Reviewer: | ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 00:55, 2 August 2009 (UTC) | |