Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Ethiopian Library "(quick)"

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Ethiopian library

66.253.221.223 22:19, August 20, 2012 (UTC)

I'll get on to reviewing this later. Hopefully.--Snippy 05:52, August 22, 2012 (UTC)

Humour:	4	I actually found this a little amusing. However, it has a couple of glaring problems.
Concept:	3	This the main issue with your article. In its current state, its pretty confusing - the title suggests you're going to be talking about a library, but it ends up being mostly about a war and how America are covering up the fact that Africa was once a prosperous nation. It jumps from idea to idea without really establishing which is important. I assume that the main focus of the article is that Africa is in fact an advanced nation, and you're showing this by talking about their greatest creation. The problem is that I had to read it through a number of times to come to this conclusion. You need to establish your concept firmly in an introduction. Work out what you are trying to say in this article, and make sure the reader knows this in the first short paragraph. This way they won't spend the entire time wondering what's going on. Then you need to expand on these themes. Since Uncyclopedia is a Wikipedia parody, I tend to look at Wikipedia articles for ideas on content. Look up articles on famous structures in history, see what Wikipedia says about them, and try to do something similar with your article.
Prose and formatting:	2	Your articles formatting is a sore point. Luckily, it's pretty easy to fix. here is a guide to proper Wiki formatting if you want to learn. The main two things for your article are the pictures and the quotes. For the pictures, upload them to the site here and place them on the article as [[file:your picture here|thumb|Your caption here.]]. Use the quote template for your quotes; {{quote|your quote here|person saying the quote here|subject of quote here}}.
Images:	5	The pictures are fine. Not much to say.
Miscellaneous:	3.5	Averaged scores.
Final Score:	17.5	That was pretty freakin' short, but the main point I wanted to make was that you need to focus on making a clear concept.
Reviewer:	--Snippy 08:10, August 22, 2012 (UTC)