Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Dark matter

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Dark matter

I didn't create this article but I'm adopting it. I'd like to hear what someone says about this. InMooseWeTrust (talk) 02:06, 1 June 2013 (UTC)

Humour:	6.5	Quite funny. That is when it is following a single stream. Each section is funny as a standalone. Particularly the Uses, hilarious. The article is funny, just that it shifts from one concept to another too much. See Concept below for mild details. Suggestions: The author may add a Star Wars reference, racist jokes (there already is a subtle one!), actually talk about apocalypse, even a Dan Brown reference, and I think User:Qzekrom would like a Cute Darkrai here too.
Concept:	5	Inconsistent. For the definition of dark matter, the whole world of everything dark was open. And the author chose to go for everything that's lost. And then, it suddenly changes into a constituent of a lady's weight. Then under Criticism, we find incoherent talk about the universe expanding and eventually falling apart. Would be great if it were a bit uniform.
Prose and formatting:	8.5	Very good. No notable praise/complaint.
Images:	7	Decent. I just wish the black pics did not have the ruddy frame. Gets in the way. Suggestions: Add more. The author was creative with the family portrait. S/he can put in more such pics.
Miscellaneous:	7	To fix: Consistency of what dark matter is, and can do. That is what is needed the most. If you're adopting this article you'll have to start off by changing the introduction. Or, for a better challenge, follow through with the definition of dark matter being things that are lost. That actually can be funnier, albeit less cool. Images. Like the concept, images can be similarly improved. Dark matter explosions anyone? Improvement possible in the Criticism section.
Final Score:	34	Can be funnier. The concept has so much potential. It has not been sufficiently utilised in this article. Yet.
Reviewer:	Tumb13weed (talk) 20:07, 12 June 2013 (UTC)