UnNews:Uncyclopedia Blackout a Success
19 January 2012
UNCYCLOPEDIA, The Internet - Uncyclopedia held a blackout in retaliation against Her nemesis, The Evil Sorcerer Wikipedia, for issuing its own blackout on January 18. Supreme Wikipedia Overlord Jimbo Wales stated that the Wikipedia blackout was issued to protest the upcoming bill to stop online piracy, stating that it was done in order to protect "free knowledge."
In a committee held by the Supreme Wiki Senate, the committee ruled in favor of upholding the truth, and the momentous blackout was issued, unintentionally causing the shutdown of global teenage operations of vandalizing and plagiarizing Wikipedia for 24 hours.
Uncyclopedia rushed to counter Wikipedia's extreme measures and issued its own blackout the same day, mimicking its stylishly piano-black web banner, (pictured) also announcing its reasons for shutdown. The banner stated that the protest was authorized against Wikipedia's protest of SOAP, showing its support for the bill in order for "the Internet to be purified" and to ultimately reveal the evil corruption of Wikipedia. The banner also stated its stand against Bronies and Lolcats.
However, recent investigation reveals that SOAP is for the elimination of internet piracy, meaning that it would not effect Bronies or Lolcats, as neither are copyright infringements. The statement on Bronies and Lolcats also may not have portrayed the opinion of all Uncyclopedians, meaning that the true intention may have been out of pure hatred for Wikipedia. Furthermore, the banner had a spelling and a grammatical error, but these were purposely done to mock Wikipedia's oh so neat spelling on their banner.
Despite Uncyclopedia's significantly lower web traffic in comparison to Wikipedia, the blackout was considered a success because it is believed that one, at least one person in search of Wiki porn must have seen the site before disgustedly clicking the "back" button. For a whole day, the Internet masses survived without Oscar Wilde or AAAAAAAAA! for the greater good of countering Wikipedia's actions.
One unnamed U.S. congressman stated:
|I really couldn't give a damn about the whole Wikipedia blackout thing, but when I saw that Uncyclopedia was shut down, I just couldn't believe it! I need to get my daily fix for Kitten Huffing to give my best effort as a congressman, and there it was, instead of that wonderful picture of a man snorting a kitten up his nose, the site was clad in a stylish piano-black hue! So yesterday I decided to put down the martini and take action for Uncyclopedia's cause. I think that with our combined efforts, we can push SOAP through!|
With their missions accomplished, both Wikipedia and Uncyclopedia reverted to their normal web pages after 24 hours, with the epic battle ending in a stalemate. Uncyclopedia's other nemesis, the remnants of Encyclopedia Dramatica, also reported this blackout.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|