UnNews:U.S. enforces "Green-Hill Zone" over Libya

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26 April 2011

The first round of wasp-strikes began today

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- After much wrangling and debate, the U.S. has finally revealed - and immediately begun to enforce - implementation of phase 2 in the Libyan conflict, the creation of a sustainable "Green Hill Zone" over Libya.

The move has left many in the coalition baffled, with some former U.S. Army officials expressing grave concerns about the direction of the war effort; the main one being a perceived lack of reality awareness amongst its younger, Sega Genesis-reared commanders. Former Army chief of staff Peter Schoomaker said of the decision (which has cost billions of dollars to organize in secret):


So far U.S. badniks have taken down one warplane

Meanwhile, chief Army scientist Scott Fish admitted the task of designing the badniks has been draining:


In a statement issued by the White House this afternoon, press officer Jay Carney expressed doubts about Schoomaker's knowledge and went on to field criticism of the project:


So far, reports suggest the metal wasps have destroyed many air defense installations but are having a harder time with the aircraft, with most crabs having simply fallen to the ground and shattered.

From his Tripoli compound, an embattled Colonel Gaddaffi issued a stirring speech to his followers this afternoon, and pledged to declare an "Emerald Hill Zone" upon his enemies.


Dr. Robotnik was not available for comment at this time.

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