UnNews:Riot Olympics

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25 February 2006

The closing ceremony of the Riot Olympics ended spectacularly but unsurprisingly with the host city being burned down. Many have described the scenes as magical and the games as being the best ever.

A happy participant

Total Count

2006 Riot Olympics - Worldwide
Pos. Noflag.png Country G S B TOT
1 France.svg France 9 10 5 24
2 Pacistan.JPG Pakistan 8 6 5 19
3 India.jpg India 8 3 7 18
4 Cross of st legolas.JPG Denmark 7 7 5 19
5 Saudi.jpg Saudi Arabia 5 8 6 19
6 450px-Flag of the People's Republic of China.svg.png China 5 4 4 13
7 Ireland.jpg Ireland 5 2 4 11
8 UnitedKingdom.jpg United Kingdom 2 3 4 9
9 600px-Flag of Australia.png Australia 1 0 1 2
10 Flag of Nazi Amerikkka.gif United States of America 0 0 2 2
credit: WTO, (c) 2006 WTO

Country by Country[edit]

  • France really outstripped the field this year, a surprise packet that powered on and on to take the gold Molotov.
  • Pakistan rioted all week over the news that they had outrioted India, and why not? They deserve to.
  • Denmark: putting a run on near the end, Denmark surprised all with a stunning finish
  • India consistently ranks in the top 5 with strong performers in all disciplines
  • Saudi Arabia excelled in flag burning and random beatings with a solid government sponsored representation
  • Another former powerhouse on the decline, Ireland lacked participants with most of its big names turning profession and joining organised crime.
  • The super power China struggled this year in comparison to its golden days of Tiananmen Square.
  • The United Kingdom put a good show in the car rolling but was as usual disappointing.
  • Australia did well in the running riots discipline, making a welcome return after a number of years out.
  • The USA's performace over the history of the Riot Olympics has been inconsistent at best and this year was no exception.
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Sources[edit]

  • Anonymous "Riot". uncyclopedia, 22 August, 2006
  • Anonymous "San Seattle Riot". uncyclopedia, 22 August, 2006