UnNews:Rapture conman hung from jackass tree by disgruntled fucktards

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21 May 2011

The cunning conman Camping convinced Christians out of their currency.

OAKLAND, California -- Serial conman and dog-faced liar Harold Camping, who twice predicted the end of the world - once in 1994 and again at 6 PM on May 21, 2011 - has grown filthy rich from bilking morons into giving him their life savings in exchange for raptured assholes.

But at 6:01 PM today when his 100% certain doomsday prediction again failed to materialize he was struck by a bolt of lightning then tarred-and-feathered before being hung from a jackass tree (Salix africanus asinus) by his balls.

Disgruntled idiots who had given him all their life savings were outraged and demanded a refund... Wait! HUH!? Oh no! Crash, bzzzzsssk, CRA-DAAACK, KAA-BOOOOM, tsssszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........................

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This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.