UnNews:Rage Against The Machine backs out of Coachella

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28 January 2007

Festival-goers were strip-searched at the 2006 Coachella Festival at Altamont Speedway

"The 2007 Coachella Valley Concession Stand and Music Festival will have to get by without us," says Zach de la Rocha, singer for last century's most innovative and influential hip-hop/metal band. Citing the "gestapo-like practices" of the security guards, de la Rocha added that he doesn't want to see his fans "lured out to the desert only to be sold bottles of Dasani for $10." Dasani is manufactured by the Coca-Cola Corporation.

Rage likes to fight the power. So we put this photo on the left.

Organizers of the Coachella Valley T-Shirt Marketing and Music Festival say that fans who already purchased tickets can choose to have their concerns mocked or ignored completely. And that Dasani tastes really good.

Rage Against The Machine used to be legendary for making vaguely hip-hop sounding music with real instruments. Guitarist Tom Morello avoids artificial contrivances like manipulating vinyl disks on turntables, preferring to use a real guitar. Well, an electric guitar, but it's a real electric guitar. It's not electronic, like the drum-machines used by the so-called "b-boys." Well, his effects pedals are electronic. But Rage has a real drummer. You know, a guy who hits things with sticks. Not a computer. And they burned a flag.

The band's next scheduled appearance is the 2024 Modesto County Fair where they will open for the Spice Girls.

Sources[edit]

  • "Killing in the Name" Rage Against The Machine
  • "Bulls on Parade" Rage Against The Machine
  • "Bullet in the Head" Rage Against The Machine
  • "Freedom" Rage Against The Machine
  • "Bombtrack" Rage Against The Machine
  • "People of the Sun" Rage Against The Machine
  • "No Shelter" Rage Against The Machine
  • "Guerrilla Radio" Rage Against The Machine
  • "Sleep Now in the Fire", Rage Against The Machine
  • "Testify", Rage Against The Machine
  • "Renegades of Funk" Rage Against The Machine
  • "The Ghost of Tom Joad" Rage Against The Machine
  • "How I Could Just Kill a Man" Rage Against The Machine