UnNews:Porn star Nora Batty dies

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search

16 December 2008

If you check out the wrinkled stockings, make sure you are wearing loosely fitting pants.

The world of pornography is in morning following the death of pin-up legend Nora Batty. Internet service providers the world over are bracing themselves for a huge reduction in traffic flow now that the single largest grossing porn star, and subject of over 95% of all porn related searches has become un-available.

Life time friend of Ms Batty, Kathy Staff remembers her well:

Cquote1.svg She was by far the most popular girl in the school, especially with the boys. Most of the other girls were jealous, but I always saw her to be the truly loving person which everyone now knows her to be. Throughout her whole pin up career no one could match her mixture of charm, grace, elegance and raw sexual magnetism. It was her stockings you see. She was such a great tease with them. Pulling them up sometimes, or just letting them drop down into the wrinkled style which her fans loved her so much for. Cquote2.svg

Famous for being "Open All Hours" Ms Batty left many admirers at a Crossroads in their own relationships. Mr Compo of Coronation Street (Follyfoot) remembers her No Frills style with fondness:

Cquote1.svg She was a hottie for sure. I was a happily married man of 15 years, and but when I found one of her websites I just could not leave it alone. I would sneak out of bed in the early hours when the misses was asleep just to catch another glance. It almost ruined my marriage. Cquote2.svg

The 80-year-old passed away after a short illness. Uncyclopedia wishes her friends and especially her loving husband John our condolences. We will always love you Nora.

Sources[edit]