UnNews:Pakistan anti-infidel toilet squat-in sickens many

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13 January 2013

Send this crap back to the future

RAUNCHY, Pakistan -- A vile excrement squat-in grossed people out in one of Pakistan's filthiest days Friday, drawing concern over post-independence fecal matters. During the anti-infidel sit-down toilet protest a gang of sewer terrorists defiled themselves and others after targeting the new modern latrine recently installed in this backward desert oasis.

The pre-civilized sanitation group, People’s Right of Ancient Culture, claimed responsibility for what is sniffed as the worst stink attack ever on people in an area usually only contaminated by the ethnic majority. Hundreds of rustic villagers staged a squat-in next to the reviled sit-down toilet stall on Friday, and they refused to wash off the area until the government dismantles the shiny western latrine and sends it back to the future, where it came from.

In retaliation the pro-progress government in this province, which is fighting a stone-age sanitation insurgency, announced three days of moaning, but the angry protesters remained squatting on the road alongside the infidel toilet, which was draped in shrouds of cheap toilet paper. Nearby unidentified men also squatted on the edge of a looted NATO container openly demonstrating the traditional method of defecation - defiling many people below and splattering at least five vehicles in the hazardous area on the outskirts of Raunchy.

The People’s Right of Ancient Culture demanded that the government take immediate steps to clamp down on excremental sacrilege and said recent attacks demonstrate the need for a hastened return to Stone Age technology. “The protest will continue until Raunchy is absolved by the government of this Western toilet,” said Hashim Mosavi, one of the organizers of the squat-in. “The government seems either unwilling to bring back traditional sanitation or does not want to do anything old-fashioned,” he added.

It was the grossest attack in Pakistan since wee-wee sprayers wet people outside an infidel stand-up urinal in the southern territories in 2011 - an attack also claimed by hardliners opposed to Judaeo-Christian toiletry.