UnNews:Obama keeps Troops in Iraq: Dems happy

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search

16 July 2008

Washington, D.C. 1 Year from now. President Obama announced today that American Troops will remain in Iraq; "To help the poor, the insolvent, the impoverished, the needy, the children, the abused women, latino's, and the elderly to defend themselves against tyrannical forces." He went on; "Democrats cannot walk away from a peacekeeping mission when it means the diffence between dinner and no dinner for a child. Although roadside bombings continue, I ask the media to not report on them, but instead to report on the galliant efforts our troops have only just now begun since this Democrat has been in the office of President." Continuing; "Previous Administrations had the wrong goals and this is how I justify my choice to both keep American boots on the ground and to build up an American presense."

President Obama explaining the quadrupling the amount of American forces in Iraq.

Conservatives were for the most part, too shocked to reply.

"WHAT?!!" Said Fox News reported Ted Zingits.

"WHAT?!" said San Diego Mayor Les Newman.

"OOOH My heaaart!" said Conservative Radio Talk Show Host Rush Limbaugh, as he was whisked away to Dallas Memorial Medical Center. His agent reports that he is in "stable condition, though babbling-and his troponin test came back high.".

San Francisco man-on-the-street Reporter David Schnell interview several Liberals: "Of course we are staying in Iraq-we NEED to. We need to HELP those poor, innocent people! They've only just now begun to trust us and like us. I in fact, am volunteering at a canned food drive this week to send canned food and non-perishable goods, along with shoes and other clothing items to my needy brother Iraquis." Wanda Loveheart said "It is different now, now that we have a Democrat in office. We are only there to protect and to teach and to encourage. The tanks are just a way of protecting supplies as they are being delivered to the poor needed men and women and children of Iraq."

A willowy Art Major Valorie Atlantis summed up the current situation; "Look, before it was a completely different situation. We had a Republican President in office, tanks and troops on the ground, and American men dying. Now we have a Democrat President in office, tanks and troops on the ground, and American men dying. Can't you see? We're there to help the Iraquis."

edit Sources

  • "AP News". Democrats request Troop Presence and build up.", July 22, 2009