UnNews:NASA finds strange object on Mars
Saturday, June 22, 2019
HOUSTON, Texas: Professional ______+______ were dumbfounded yesterday when NASA revealed a ______+______ clearly showing a ______+______ sitting quietly on the Martian surface. How it got there is a complete ______+______.
The mysterious object was discovered using the ______+______, one of several scientific missions currently observing the immediate vicinity of Mars. Spectral analysis of the object in the ______+______ band indicated that it is not necessarily indigenous to the planet. Plausible theories have yet to be offered as to the actual origin of the strange object, but NASA is leaning towards ______+______ as the most likely explanation. Follow-up investigations will require ______+______ in order to reveal more about the ______+______ properties of this seemingly out-of-place artifact.
There are many ______+______ mysteries concerning the planet Mars, which have been accumulating ever since ______+______. This latest scientific finding has the potential of spurring renewed interest from ______+______, perhaps even to the point of publicly advocating vastly increased levels of government funding for ______+______. Future ______+______ could be markedly affected by this completely-unanticipated revelation.
Scientific ______+______ are continuing to wait for the latest developments with extreme interest, in the hopes that it will successfully prove their pet scientific theory of ______+______ once and for all. In the meantime, NASA plans to open a new ______+______ featuring this (and a host of other unexplained Martian phenomena) for the purpose of attracting ______+______.
choose.1
- scientists
- astrophysicists
- geologists
- astrologers
- biologists
- politicians
- medical practitioners
- science journalists
- phrenologists
- optometrists
choose.2
- high-resolution image
- medium-resolution image
- low-resolution image
- blurry video capture
- doctored photograph
- dramatic depiction
- telepathic communication
- secret CIA file
- cryptic text message
choose.3
- letter M
- green icicle
- crop circle
- high-rise apartment building
- hair pin
- gigantic monolith
- penis-shaped rock
- Rubik's cube
- robotic spider
- time machine
- Marian apparition
- pair of dentures
choose.4
- mystery
- inevitability
- impossibility
- improbability
- invisibility
- conspiracy
- joke
choose.5
- MARS EXPRESS orbiter
- Viking 2 Lander
- Hubble Space Telescope
- Arecibo Radio-wave Receiver
- ISS Spy Telescope
- FBI Surveillance Camera
- NASA Asteroid Detection System
- STARWARS Missile Defense Network
- Russian Secret Moonbase Project
choose.6
- visible light
- invisible light
- gamma radiation
- x radiation
- FM
- AM
- CB radio
- WiFi
- gravito-magnetic
- Glenn Miller Orchestra
choose.7
- volcanic activity
- dust
- interplanetary contamination
- alien abduction
- transdimensional shifting
- sunspot activity
- practical jokers
- Uncyclopedia vandals
- random acts of kindness
- divine intervention
- climate change
- spambots
choose.8
- closer monitoring
- $37,000,000,000 in additional funding
- vigilance
- extraordinary courage
- international cooperation
- Congressional investigation
- moral support from the public
- a better brand of toothpaste
- philosophical debate
choose.9
- physical
- mathematical
- psychological
- sexual
- political
- nutritive
- spiritual
- trans-dimensional
choose.10
- puzzling
- perplexing
- challenging
- unsolved
- strange
- mysterious
- spooky
- annoying
- boring
- brain-bending
choose.11
- primitive humans looked up at Mars
- the space age began
- time began
- the Watergate scandal
- Ray Bradbury published the Martian Chronicles
- the Titanic hit the iceberg
- the founding of the United Nations
- the fall of the Berlin Wall
- people started noticing
- Jesus was born in Bethlehem
- the iPhone was invented
- my cat died
choose.12
- private industry
- science fiction writers
- documentary producers
- Trekkies
- alien invaders from Mexico
- the unwashed masses
- conspiracy theorists
- kids everywhere
- the Pope in Rome
- the Green Party
- my parents
- career criminals
- Olympic athletes
choose.13
- space exploration
- endless NASA subsidies
- science education
- national defense
- primitive chemical-powered rockets
- Donald Trump's re-election campaign
- space-based laser platforms
- soybean applications research
- technological think-tanks
- extraterrestrial infrastructure
- interplanetary ballistic missiles
choose.14
- generations
- humanoid species
- centuries
- historians
- unborn puppies
- off-planet colonies
- investments in government bonds
- Terminator films
choose.15
- experts
- specialists
- fanatics
- educators
- back-seat drivers
- expositors
- creationists
- inebriates
- outsiders
- know-it-alls
choose.16
- everything
- plasma physics
- gravitational influences
- panspermia
- planetary billiards
- ancient astronautics
- intelligent design
- mathematical crankery
- Holy Geometry
choose.17
- website
- museum exhibit
- blog
- foreign embassy
- 5-star restaurant
- boutique
- hairdressing salon
- theme park
- Theater of the Absurd
- preschool playground
- internal investigation
- can of worms
choose.18
- tax-exempt donations
- attention
- curious onlookers
- women who put out
- flies
- unsuspecting children
- credit card rewards
- international spies
.