UnNews:NASA clarifies that it is not monitoring your internet traffic

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search

12 June 2013

The Bald Eagle stealing a house key sums up the NSA's mission.

NASA released a statement today which clarified that the NSA, not NASA, is the agency that is thought to be monitoring your internet and phone usage, and that NASA should not be thought to be the agency that is thought to be monitoring your internet and phone usage.

The agency emphasized that it is trying to advance human understanding and exploration of space, and that it does not have any authority or desire to monitor your boring, mundane life.

The NSA has also denied violating the constitutional privacy of U.S. citizens as it is believes such actions are constitutional. Their denial of the same accusation, as well as the almost identical acronyms of their names, has led to much confusion and belief that the agencies are the same. This is evident after talking to Geoff Michaelson of Rochester, New York. "I've always loved NASA. I wanted to be an astronaut ever since I was little. I always thought they might be watching me. It could be true, since they're way up in space with these strong telescopes."

UnNews attempted to contact the NSA to confirm that they are not the ones trying to advance human understanding of space, but unsurprisingly they knew we were calling them before the phone started ringing. Needless to say, they were not available for comment.