UnNews:Mugabe: UK set 'gay gangsters' on me

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

21 February 2007

Zimbabwe's President Robert Mugabe has accused the British Government of setting "gay gangsters" on him over his controversial land reforms.

Apparently during the attack, the disco boys used meths like all other gays to get into Mugabe's rim.

He also attacked Mr Blair as a "little man", mentioning that Tony was only 4ft 6inches while Mugabe himself stands a firm 5ft 1 inch from the ground. UN Observers noticed Mugabe was wearing large shoes during this statement. "This government of little men, Blair and others, don't seem to understand, and when we talk to them they say they don't know anything about it." However, if you have ever heard Mugabe speak, imagine that strong African accent over the phone - you would have no idea what he is going on about!

Citizens' Arrest

The never-outspoken president has previously referred to homosexuals as "lower than dogs and pigs".

UK police last week released on bail the three men arrested after the activists pounced on Mr Mugabe's car.

The three activists from gay pressure group Outrage, led by Peter Tatchell, had stopped the car and tried to carry out a citizens' arrest, then failing that, bummed Mugabe back into the stone ages.

Outrage said its members had attempted to ass-rape Mr Mugabe for "homophobia and human rights abuses against the people of Zimbabwe". Doctors say while shafting Mugabe they obviously used some crystal meths like all gays. "He was drooling for the rest of day!" said his secretary.

Peter Tatchell (seen here dressed as George Michael) tried to make a citizen's arrest on Mr Mugabe.

Sources

• BBC "Mugabe: UK set 'gay gangsters' on me" ', Mmmmm DD, 1999

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