UnNews:Kittens kill Huffing Activists

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22 June 2007

Footage from an onlooker's camcorder highlights the violence.

Somewhere, Kansas-Kitten extremists in Kansas today killed 8 people after crashing and destroying a Kitten Huffing demonstration, says police and the nearby SWAT team.

The Kittens allegedly used firearms and their overall cuteness to evade law enforcers. One kitten, simply at this time known as Cutiepie, was arrested and was taken to the Crazy Ol' Cat Lady's home for questioning.

Cutiepie was also allegedly involved in the sniping death of Lassie the dog.

One of the people killed was World Huffing.NET's founder Ben Baxter, 27.

"It was all like, they were all like, meowing, and they were all like, killing, and it was like, like, like meow meow, and then there was a boom." Said 17 year old Bobby Kiff, who captured the horrible attack on video.

Police suspect the felines involved in the shooting were lead by Meowmers McPaws, who bombed a Kitten Huffing Convention, but escaped the SPCA.

The attack comes on the end of the Kitten Huffing Board's move to enforce a rule that Kittens being huffed must be alive so that Huffing's way more entertaining.

A video was sent to Kansas from Meowmers weeks before the shooting, showing McPaws and Al Meowda members killing a dog and a horse, and the end claiming "Meow meow meow mew, mew meow mew meow meow mew mew mew purr."

Translators say the message may have been linked to the killings.


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