UnNews:Katrina Was Wake-Up Call for Preparation-H

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14 April 2006

FORT LAUDERDALE – Head-cheese and Chairman of the Board of FEMA, Michael Squirtoff, revealed new plans to be called Preparation-H. The plan is so named for expected ass-reaming onslaught that will follow the 2006 Hurricane season.

It is expected that Preparation-H will not be able to halt or stop Hurricanes in their tracks, but is intended to ease the embarrassment of those hemmoroidal flair-ups that typically follow FEMA screw-ups.

FEMA has not revealed previously how Preparation-H will be applied in the future or to what extent it will be used. Squirtoff commented that he expected that the plan will be applied on a case by case basis while being monitored by professionals.


  • "Yuri" of the former KGB