UnNews:Hypofaceitosis claims another victim

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6 March 2007

Leelee Sobieski, shown here at age 20, the ravaging effects of hypofaceitosis already severely narrowing her mouth and nose. By age 35 her face will be completely gone.

HOLLYWOOD, USA -- Leelee Sobieski, star of a string of films that you haven't seen, has been diagnosed by doctors at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center with hypofaceitosis.

Hypofaceitosis is a non-infectious degenerative disease that causes the cranium, or "head", to slowly consume the face, or "face". Due to its rarity, very little research has been done to discover exactly how or why this occurs.

Doctors for famous Hollywood stars are on the lookout for other potential carriers of LSD, in the hopes that the television coverage provided by their suffering will attract the big research grants that will be required to fight the disease.

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This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.