UnNews:Germanwings tragedy portends pilotless passenger drones

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Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Are computer controlled passenger drones now ‘in’?

SWITZERLAND -- If the Germanwings disaster has taught us anything it’s that we cannot trust humans, especially pilots. After all, pilots are less trustworthy than bankers, every one knows that - now.

The obvious solution is simply to do away with human pilots altogether, and just create jumbo passenger drones, controlled by computers, which are devoid of psychological problems or dumb-ass impulsive behavior.

Heinrich Schultz of the Air Sanity Board was clear on the conclusion when he told the media, “That’s the last straw! Humans just cannot be trusted. The only solution is technology.

“We will spend a nillion dollars to introduce jumbo size passenger drones, controlled by computers from the Control Towers all the way to flying and landing the planes without a hitch.” Schultz opined.

But some conspiracy buffs have raised the objection that fallible humans build all drones and computers along with computer programs, so what is the surety of such man-made technology? To address this doubt Schultz suggested that computer robots (not humans) should be used to create, maintain and operate the passenger drones, and this would remove any hint of human error from the equation.

The worker robots can, in turn, be controlled by manager robots, who are themselves controlled by CEO and FED robots. Thus no maniacal human interaction is required, apart from turning the whole thing ON, and that function could be relegated to a Messiah robot that is subjugated to a God robot.

Schultz added that this process of computer-creating-computer could be replicated repeatedly until fallible humans were entirely eradicated.

At Unnews we are of the opinion that these asinine ideas are fanciful and would cost a fortune, therefore we suggest the simple fix of moving the cabin lock to the outside of the cockpit door, to protect the passengers from the crew, rather than having it on the inside, much to the advantage of suicidal human pilots.

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This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.