UnNews:Fox "Restructures"
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
22 December 2005
President of Fox, Old Man Rupert Murdoch, today announced he his going to restructure his news empire, NewsCorp. Some changes include:
- Removing Management and replacing them with Slavedrivers run by his Miniluv
- Replacing all news stations with Minitru
- Extending the poison pill for another 5000 years
- Replacing the official NewsCorp language with Newspeak
He baffled reporters at a press conference by suddenly switching language to Newspeak to keep up with the times.
| “ | Today, is a new dawning for NewsCorp - Sorry, wait. I BB bellyfeel proles feel doubleplusungood Airstrip One and prolefeed. Proles go to Miniluv Room 101 speedwise for crimethink. | ” |
Aides of Rupert Murdoch attributed this recent bout of insanity to third stage syphilis, but none-the-less, NewsCorp is now known as Airstrip One.