UnNews:Economists declare Asia fucking rules!

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26 February 2007

Ted Nugent making a drum set.

TOKYO, Japan -- The world's top economic minds have gathered in the Land of the Rising Sun and named the progressive rock group, Asia, as the greatest of all time.

Some rock legends have argued the authority of the economists. "How do the bean counters of the world declare anything about music, when they've never even made their own electric guitar? I am classic rock revisited. I've gutted a live sheep, and made bagpipes out of its entrails, then played it for three hours at a concert, including two encores," ranted a batshit crazy Ted Nugent.

A Canadian ecomonist had this to say about the controversy, "Economics is the premiere social science, eh? We've followed the demand of the general public's musical wants, and what we have found was,they get maximum audio utility from artists or groups who are named after continents, eh. Meaning after listening to 'Horse With No Name' by America, most listeners don't want to listen to any more music, eh?" Another economist retorted, "Yeah, and fuck 'Dust in the Wind' by Kansas!"

Another economist had this to add, "And when your looks are gone and you're alone, how many nights you sit beside the phone? Sweet Jesus, if those lyrics don't speak to you, you need to check your pulse, man! Asia!"

Piped in another moneyman, "I guess, as Europe would say, that's our Final Countdown."

Sources[edit]

  • "Asia." Wikipedia, February 19, 2007

See the Uncyclopedia article on Asia.