UnNews:California introduces Sharia Law - but which type?

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11 February 2007

Following California’s declaration of Sharia Law on Thursday and Governor Abdul Schwartznegger’s conversion to Islam, the latest press release from the state legislature makes far-reaching changes to the way the state will be governed from now on. Whilst commentators have been asking precisely which version of Sharia law is being adopted – there are four – Governor Abdhul explained that interpretation was a matter of opinion and has appointed a committee of Afghani and other Middle Eastern immigrants to make rulings where the words of Allah, may his name be praised, don’t directly apply. “I am happy to announce that all abortion clinics are now to be used as limb amputation centres”, Governor Abdhul announced. “I know this will please the Christian Right, though Christianity is now outlawed.” He added that anyone who feels religious must register at their local mosque. People opposing my reforms will be sent to Iran for re-education or hanging by crane according to local customs.”

President Bush welcomed the reforms, saying, “This proves that America is still a free country. Freedom of religion is enshrined in the Constitution. By ceasing to be an aggressor in the war on terror and engaging in this peaceful initiative, California is taking a significant step toward ending the war on terror”. Far from being oppressive, the press release makes the point that new laws, like reducing the female age of consent to nine, will please many who have lobbied for the legalisation of sex with children, and the introduction of public floggings for those who commit adultery is likely to appeal to the large number of people who enjoy bondage experiences.

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