UnNews:Buyers line up for a Wii

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

19 November 2006

Americans, participating in their first Wii tournament.
Note: The guy in the middle is checking out that guy's awesome Wii.

USA, Earth -- The new Wii, to take place in the USA started today, competing against the Sony and Microsoft teams.

Thousands of fans, some of whom had camped for several days, and have drank as much water as physically possible, urinated outside in New York and Hollywood, in order to take part in this distasteful act.

The first participant, "Triforce" Johnson, had been urinating outside the New York shop for more than a week, a result of drinking 40 gallons of water.

"I had to go for the longest," said the 29-year-old, who shook hands with Nintendo of America president Reggie Fils-Aime straight after finishing his business. Reports show he didn't wash his hands.

The Wii's organisation hopes to have an advantage over the PlayStation 3 and the Xbox 360, because the Wii is more accessible for disabled users, providing a separate area for them to join in.

Nintendo spokesman Yasuhiro Minagawa, who has had nearly 4,000,000 Wiis in North America, will be available for questioning on the Japan launch date (Dec. 2), after not being able to turn up for the US release.

"I'm sorry I couldn't turn up at the event, I was busy with a Wii," said the Spokesman.

The UK has their Wiis on 8 December.

Sources

• "Buyers line up for Wii" BBC News, November 19, 2006